The Persistence of Memory
by JustAnotherGirl16
Summary: Mikan has died and went to heaven where she is learning to become an angel. She watches Natsume and her friends from heaven. One day she finds Natsume's name on the death list, a list that has every human name that is to die within the next 100 days. She begs the higher angels to let her go to earth so she can save him. She borrows the body of 17 year old Luna to save him.
1. Chapter 1: The Wheels of Fate

**I don't own Gakuen Alice and I got the plot from a Manhwa although the story line is way different.**

A ring. The sound of snores. A ring again. It's deafening. Steady breathing. Light snores. And the persistent ringing.

"What a moron" I mutter. The idiot puts the alarm next to his ear but continues to sleep like a grizzly.

"It never was easy to get him out of that bed" A complete idiot. He sleeps like he's dead. I stare at the alarm with its persistent beeping. It's a wonder he's not deaf yet.

Sigh. Some things won't ever change. I've been on this routine for about a year now but nothing in this guy's life ever changes. The alarm continues to ring until his roommate finally gets enough of it and turns it off. Then they all go to sleep and get up 5 minutes before class starts. They freak out and skip breakfast after barely making it in before the teacher. Of course it's not so bad; there is always a girl who's made a treat for them that they sneak into class.

The life and times of rich pretty boy Natsume Hyuga, my boyfriend. Or at least he was when I was alive.

Currently I am not alive. I died a year ago and came to heaven. I'm an angel in training. Yes, there is homework in heaven.

But it's not all bad. Of course you have to read the history of angels, practice magic, learn to fly, learn morals and ethics, read the rules and what not. But the good thing is you can do that at any time. It's not exactly school, it's something you choose to do and it's actually kind of fun. That could be the nerd in me talking though.

And once you've done all that, there is a lot to do. Shopping, playing, eating, exploring, you name it. That's the thing about Heaven, you never get bored.

I took the Keepsake crystal from Matrimony, the angel who unites soul mates after they are created so they can get married and spend their life together in happiness. The Keepsake crystal lets you see anyone on earth, you just have to touch it and think of the person. It helps if you use a memory of them. It's a habit of mine to check up on my old friends and boyfriend. I worry about them a lot, something I used to do a lot when I was alive. Old habits die hard.

Natsume isn't doing well. Late nights, short sleeps, no breakfast, catching on sleep in class and no social life. Not that he had that much of it when I was their anyway. Our relationship was more unbalanced then we let on. Natsume would be the awkward, jealous and possessive boyfriend who's mostly in a corner brooding or sulking. I'd be the eccentric girlfriend who'd baby him and act more like an overprotective mother then a girlfriend. Still our relationship worked that way.

He never told me he loved me or that he even liked me. But somehow I felt that he did. I felt his love with his every nod or stare or random comment about the weather. It was an unspoken truth. We understood each other.

I try my best to keep tabs on him but I have limited time with the crystal. It's only at times when Matrimony is sleeping or eating that I can take a peak.

And then theirs the fact that only Matrimony knows of this. When you die and move on to heaven or hell you loose your human memories thus cutting off all ties that you had with your life on earth. Every angel here has forgotten what it was like to be human; they've lost all memories of their death yet that is the most vivid memory I have.

I remember everything from what I got for Christmas when I was three to how I died and all the pain that came from death. Sometimes it feels like it happened just yesterday.

Matrimony thinks that within time my memories will fade. Which is also why my time with the Keepsake crystal is getting more and more limited. Despite all this I'm trying hard, I don't want to forget my human life, or the people I once held close to me. I'm scared to.

At that time I didn't know that very soon the wheels of fate will reunite me with my old life sooner then I could have imagined.

And so once again the wheels have started spinning.

**A/N So it's my first Gakuen Alice Fanfic. Thoughts anyone? Good? Bad? **


	2. Chapter 2: Gut Feeling

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice or any of its characters, the plot is somewhat borrowed by the manhwa A love in 100 days but the story will change and be my own.**

"Mikan!" a cry came from behind me. I ran. Matrimony's right behind me. I try to fly. Come on; come on, just a little bit more.

"Oof!" I fall to the ground that was only inches below my feet. That's my record. Three inches, I can't go any higher.

"Nice try sweetie" I hear Matrimony say as she takes the Keepsake Crystal from me. The red alarms are blinking, a sign that someone broke into an angel's sanctuary.

"And here comes the security" She looks at me for a moment as five angels dressed in matching blue and gold uniforms fly toward us. She helps me to my feet and says "You better run girly because if they catch you here it's a one-way ticket to the higher ups' palace."

The higher ups' palace is where all the older and powerful angels live. They are in a sense the rulers of heaven. They manage it and keep things in control. So if I were to get caught right now and taken to the palace, lets just say I can kiss my dream of being a powerful angel goodbye. And so I sprint as fast as I can with my two feet. I hurry and hide behind tall trees as the five celestial beings fly over me looking for the little thief that broke in.

I know it sounds a bit strict; the fact that we get striped of our duties by doing a small crime, but it's the way things are around here. Being an angel is a big deal, not just anyone can be one, you need to be talented at something, be kind, be intelligent and most of all, you have to be an exemplary model. This means not breaking into sanctuaries and stealing other angels' crystals.

I hide behind large twin trees, their thick brown branches cover me from head to toe. The five angels look around them, searching for me. One of them seems to spot me; He flies down and stands parallel to me behind the tree. He puts his hand on the tree and takes a step towards me.

"What is it Kitsuneme?" Someone asks from above. Kitsuneme who's about to reply stops mid sentence, he looks back at me and there's a recognition in his eyes. Then to my surprise he grins at me and turns around to say to the others

"Nothing. Just a cat." He turns around and says "Nothing here boys lets try the east wing" I peak to see them nod and fly off together.

I sigh in relief. I look up to make sure that all the guards are really gone then turn around and make my way deeper into the mysterious forest. I take pride in knowing every place in heaven as I spent most of my free time searching and exploring every corner of its forests and lakes.

But as I ventured deeper into the forest I realized that the odd shapes of trees and the ominous birds that sang lowly with my every step were completely new to me. I didn't know this part of heaven and I would've turned around and sprinted out of this creepy place if I didn't see something dark in the distance. My curiosity peaked, nothing in heaven is dark. It's always bright and colorful everywhere you see.

So to see something distinctly dark and ominous would come as a surprise to anybody in heaven. I slowed as the dark building it appeared to be came into view. It was a deep and dark shade of red. Not as dark as blood but darker then any shade of color seen in heaven.

I stood in front of it for a heartbeat getting a bad feeling in my gut. I ignored it and stepped through the creaking wooden door.

_I didn't know then just that what I would find in the building would change and shake me from inside out._

…

"Luna! Luna don't!" came a shriek from somewhere in the dark room.

"Don't stop me. I've had enough of you all. I'm done and you guys kiss my ass for all I care."

"Luna please stop. We can talk about this. You don't have to do this; there are other ways to fix this." It was a shaky masculine voice that came from beside the shrieking woman.

A bitter laugh escaped from the 17 year old girl that sat on her window, her feet dangling dangerously on the other side. With her face illuminated in the moonlight as she sat on her window ledge five stories high she was a strikingly beautiful picture. If anything the laugh lit up her face and gave her the glow similar to that of a moon goddess.

"Yeah? Well the situation was beyond repair when you married _her_" She pointed her finger accusingly in the dark. She put her head to the side and breathed exasperatedly. "Okay, enough." Luna breathed deeply into the night air and gave a bitter smile as tears fell through her eyes. She took a shaky breath and closed her eyes as she fell off the window and to her impending death.

Cries and screams of despair could be heard from everywhere in the dark room and when they all ran simultaneously to look over the window and see what had happened to the beautiful girl that had sat there only moments before they saw nothing but a small figure with dark liquid pooling out.

…

The inside of the building looked a lot like the outside. Dark gray walls and a murky wooden floor lay inside. There was no furniture, not a single place to sit or lay. On the far corner of every room in the building there was a long desk where someone had put papers in an organized manner.

I sauntered forward and read the big red letters on every stack of paper. I went through the different stacks of papers which appeared to all have lists of names. Names of people that I didn't recognize.

_These are probably the names of the people that the higher ups are going to promote for angel duty_

'I wouldn't put it past them to already have their eye on someone' I said back to the voice in the back of my head. But this peaked my curiosity, what if that's true! Maybe my name is on the list.

As I rummaged through the stacks of papers something caught my eye. I dug deeper for it and pulled it out of the mess.** LIST OF PEOPLE TO DIE IN THE NEXT 100 DAYS**. There in red bold letters it was written clearly.

I don't know what it was that made me unclip the papers so that I could read it. Some would say it was a sixth sense, or a gut feeling, others would call it a premonition. But I say that it was the sick way my stomach hurled.

I looked through each paper carefully, not knowing what I was looking for but at the same time feeling that I knew exactly what I was. This kind of thing belonged in hell or in the higher ups palace, what was it doing in the middle of a forest? I felt bad about going through the papers, they were no doubt confidential and I knew that if I got caught looking through them I would be in big trouble. _Well_, I thought _since I had already started digging myself a hole why not keep going deeper?_

The list was alphabetical order; I went through the first hundred pages swiftly not recognizing a single name. I wondered briefly if these people who'll die will come to heaven. I was on some million or billion page not knowing why I was still paying close attention to every name and why my hands seemed to have a mind of there own when something caught my eye

_Hyuguchi Natsuki, Hayate Naruto, Hibichi Namano, Hyuga Natsume, Hayana Natsuki, Hassan Nouman, Heatherfield Nana_

I froze. I read it again. _Hyuga Natsume. _Again. _Hyuga Natsume._

"No" it was barely a whisper and the word seemed choked up

_Hyuga Natsume_

_Hyuga Natsume_

_Hyuga Natsume_

_Hyuga Natsume_

_Hyuga Natsume_

**A/N: Hello again! Thankyou so much for reviewing! I got 1 review! And I'm not being sarcastic about it, it was honestly more than I expected. So thankyou very much for your suggestion **_spica14_** I will be on the lookout for beta readers. Well anyway please tell me what you think! Bye.**

**~JustanotherGirl**


	3. Chapter 3: The Higher Ups

**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice!**

There are times in life when you feel lost, or when you get scared, or at times when fear takes over and completely numbs your body. When that happens, you should act with caution and what is appropriate.

If you're a child you can go into your mother's arms and she'll hide you away from the world, she'll lull you to sleep and make your worst nightmares disappear. If you're older and can't go to your mother for help without looking terrible than you can curl up in a blanket and cry until morning comes when things start to look brighter. If you're a parent then you know that it is you who has to be strong for the sake of your child. So you stand like a pillar and protect your family.

But what do you do when you have no one, no one that can protect you or give strength to you? What if you don't have anyone to be strong for, what if no matter how many mornings come and go, reality won't change? What if in this entire universe you can't find the strength to move?

The alarms continue to ring. I hear a yell, or is it a cry?

Someone shouts, "CODE RED!"

I probably should run, or at the very least, hide. But there is no feeling in my legs. All I can think of is the fact that my worst nightmare has come true. I feel someone grab my arms and jolt me, somewhere faraway I hear their voices, panicked and fearful.

Someone slaps me.

_Ouch. That really hurt._

I blink and look into deep green eyes. A feeling of nostalgia washes over me and I know that I've looked into the same eyes in another life.

"Mikan run! You can't be in here, if they catch you, you won't be let off without punishment!" Kitsuneme yells in my face all the while shaking me back and forth with his vice like grip on both my shoulders.

I focus my vision on his face. Something about that fearful and panicked look on his face is so eerily familiar.

"Did we meet before? Like on earth, did I know you?" He looks taken aback by my question. He blinks and in that moment Angel Security breaks in.

We both freeze and look up to see the same blue and gold uniforms that chased me when I broke into Matrimony's sanctuary.

"You two! Freeze!" A slightly shorter angel guard says pointing his iron staff at us. The iron staffs were designed to electrocute someone a mile away, you had to go through strict training to ever even touch one. The fact that someone was pointing one at me made me realize that I was in danger zone.

I put my hands above my head and look up at the four intimidating figures standing in front of me. I feel Kitsuneme shuffle beside me and sneak a look at him from the corner of me eye.

"Hey guys, I was just looking for you," He has an uncomfortable smile on his face as he walks towards them leaving me standing by myself in the middle of the room.

"Shouldn't you be looking for who broke in? Why were you looking for us?" A bald angel to the right of me says. Kitsuneme stops in the middle of his walk, standing right in between me and the angels. He does have a good point; come to think of it what was Kitsuneme doing here by my side?

His shoulders tense as he forces a smile at them and mutters, "Well I found her and was going to bring her to you guys but I couldn't find you cause of this blasted ringing." He refers to the room that was still in an uproar with its continuous hum of 'Danger' 'Danger.' They look at each other and then back at Kitsuneme, then nod. Kitsuneme's shoulders relax and he walks forward to join them all.

They look at me from across the room and then as if in unison they gaze at Kitsuneme expectantly. He looks at them with understanding and then with conflict in his eyes he turns to me.

"Mikan Sakura, for breaking into a forbidden area without permission from anyone with eligible authority I hereby arrest you and demand that you be taken to the higher-ups castle," Kitsuneme bellows loudly.

The short guard lowers his weapon and the bald angel puts silver handcuffs on my two hands. I don't make a sound as the two security angels on both sides of me each grab an arm and fly dragging me with them to the sky.

…

"Is she dead?" A woman who looked in her early thirties asked the doctor.

"No, thankfully, something broke her fall. She does, however, have minor injuries in her ribcage and a few broken bones in her arms. Her elbow bone broke and she has bruises on every inch of her body. No damage to the skull and surprisingly none to her legs although she did damage muscles in her back." The young doctor said to the family of the girl that had gathered.

"Thank God." A girl whispered next to the woman who had asked the question earlier. The girl looked to be in her teen years with green eyes and black hair decorated with highlights that matched the color of her eyes. Her eyes were swollen from crying all night and her skin was pale from malnutrition.

"Sit down Sumire, you've been awake all night, she's fine now." The woman beside her told the young girl with swollen eyes.

"But why isn't she waking up mother? It has been a whole day now but she won't get up. Doctor Subaru, please, I need to know why my sister isn't getting up." The girl pleaded with the young doctor who was now busily checking the many monitors in the room.

"That's the odd part. It has been 24 hours, she should have woken up. She has no damage to her skull and she is not in danger zone so she should be awake right now." Replied the doctor with a crease between his brows as he looked over charts and MRI scans again.

"So why is she still sleeping?" The girl asked in a panicked voice.

The young doctor with dark circles under his eyes from working long shifts replies in a monotone voice to the young girl.

"I don't know. There is no injury that's keeping her in this state. She has fallen into a coma on her own will. There must be something that she doesn't want to experience or something that she's scared of seeing that's keeping her from coming back."

…

We reach the palace only minutes later as the gold and silver walls of the castle come into view. It must be nice to have wings.

The two angels gently descend towards the ground and then wordlessly walk me through the double doors of the golden palace. We walk on a red carpet and move down staircases until we finally reach the large door to the throne room. The two angels beside me move so that they stand behind me and the rest of them walk in front of me blocking my view of everything. Together they form a ring around me and we move like this towards the awaiting higher ups.

The throne room is a lot like the rest of the palace from what I can see. There were golden walls with silver linings. Tapestries were on every corner and large crystal chandeliers hung above us. This was definitely royalty in all its glory.

I walked or more like was dragged in front of the higher ups. There were three of them and they were each extraordinarily beautiful. The one in the middle was a woman with long golden hair, it seemed like her hair were strands woven from the light of the moon and the sun combined.

She had skin like porcelain; her eyes were a deep blue, like the sky right after midnight but just before dawn. Her features were soft and feminine, they were angular and perfect. She was the kind of woman that no man could ever resist. She looked down at me and smiled a kind smile. It was almost motherly. Her presence filled the room with radiance and you couldn't help but relax.

To her right sat a man who was every bit as beautiful as her but every bit as different. His skin was a dark color like that of mahogany, his eyes a glaring silver but when he looked at me I noticed green specks in them. He had shiny black hair that was almost past his shoulders, and when you looked closely at them, you noticed silver highlights in them that matched his eyes. He simply looked at me with his exotic eyes.

To the woman's left sat a boy. He was probably no older than ten. He seemed to be a mixture of the two, as he too, possessed dark hair, porcelain skin and exotic eyes. He looked down at me with childlike curiosity. I smiled at him and he seemed to blink back.

I noticed they were all dressed in similar garments that matched the castle with its gold and silver.

"Announce your business, young maiden," The beautiful woman spoke breaking me out of my reverie.

The bald angel in front of me spoke, "If I may my Queen, this maiden has committed unfathomable crimes unbeknownst to any decent angel in heaven. We have brought her before you to pass judgment and currently have her under arrest." Okay, pretty sure this guy has something against me.

"Is that so? Do tell," The Queen it appears replied.

The bald one again talked in my stead, "This wench before us has committed a foul crime. She has trespassed through prohibited territory, gained forbidden knowledge, broken into an angel's sanctuary, stolen an item and it appears that she is behind in her studies and although she is an angel in training she cannot fly above three inches." Dude, did I kill your children? What is up with this and how on heaven does he know so much about my...flaws.

"Is that so?" The Queen repeated, she didn't seem put off at all by the bald guy's speech. Makes you wonder what kinds of crimes people have been brought in here for. She looked at me with those wise and exotic eyes. The way she stared at me made me feel like she was searching for something in me. She probably found it because she blinked and gave me a fleeting smile.

"If you would, I would like the maiden in question to talk for herself. Come forward dear child and tell me what it is that has got you so scared." The kind Queen gestured with her hands for me to come forward.

I took a step towards her and fell to my knees; I didn't realize how weak they had gotten.

With my head down I spoke to her in hope of a miracle.

"With all due respect my Queen, the only worry that I have right now is of something that I read in the prohibited area that I accidentally entered." I said with a shaky voice.

The queen smiled down at me, "That is forbidden knowledge but do tell what it is that has you so worried."

"I have read the names of those who will die within the next hundred days. In that list there is a name that I wish to not see die yet." I continue as my voice starts to find leverage and I gain confidence.

"Hyuga Natsume is a beloved of mine and it is my greatest wish and desire that his name be removed from that list." I finish in a steady voice and look up at the queen.

"I trust that this is the man in your life young maiden. Fear not, although it may seem hard to accept at first, realize that there is a reason why this list wasn't found in hell and was in heaven. The names of the individuals on this list will enter heaven after their death." The queen smiled.

I swallowed this information. This would mean that Natsume is going to be with me. We'll be together again and this time not even death will break us apart. Never again will we separate, we can spend the rest of eternity on heaven and all I have to do is wait a hundred more days.

The Queen laughed and said to me, "Love truly is amazing. Dear child be glad, and celebrate for you will be reunited with your beloved.

I almost relax and let the feeling of joy and longing fill me when suddenly a flashback comes to me.

_Natsume and Mikan 7 years ago, at the age of 10._

"_Ouch!" A young boy falls from a ten feet high branch. The little girl standing beside the tree runs over to him and gasps._

"_Natsume? What were you doing up there?" She asks the boy still lying on the ground too embarrassed to get up and face her with leaves in his hair._

"_Go away ugly, I'm busy," was the smart reply of the ten year old._

"_Busy climbing trees?" Replies the young girl._

"_Hn," was the boy's witty remark._

"_Come on Natsume! I'm bored and we haven't played together in a long time! I know, can I climb trees with you?"_

"_No."_

"_Why not!? You don't think I can do it? Well watch m-" The boy grabs the girl's foot from where he lies on the ground and pulls it so that she falls face first onto the ground._

"_OUCH! What was that for!?"_

"_For being annoying."_

"_NATSUME!" _

"_Calm down, I'm not climbing trees just for fun you know, its hard work and it's very dangerous." _

"_If it's not for fun, then why are you doing it?"_

"_I'm working; I need to be able to run on them smoothly without making a sound. It's… for my dream."_

"_Which would be what? Join the circus? Or become a monkey?"_

"_Funny."_

_She laughs, "Okay, okay."_

_She looks up at him with curiosity and asks "What's your dream Natsume?"_

_The boy looked at her shinning eyes and blushes while whispering, "A Secret Agent."_

_She looked at him in surprise. "Wow."_

_He looks up at her from between the hair that fell into his eyes and smiles, pleased that she didn't mock him._

"_I've wanted to for a while now, ever since my dad started telling me stories about how he saves lives and sneaks around fighting bad guys. It's kind of like being a superhero you know."_

"_But what does that have to do with climbing and running on trees?" Mikan asked._

"_I thought it would be good training. I want to hurry up and get strong, so that I can protect everyone." The second part of his reply was whispered but Mikan heard it loud and clear and smiled proudly at him._

_Unknown to him and even to her until some time later, Natsume's dream became her own that day. She would go to any extreme and jump over any obstacle to make his dream come true, because to her the only wish that she had was to make Natsume happy._

Tears streamed down my face as the flashback ended. It seemed like the memory was lifetimes away, so much time had passed since then.

_Right. I remember now._

That was selfish of me, getting happy just because he would be coming to me and ignoring what it was that he would be losing on his way here. No, I can't allow this.

I see the Queen look at me in astonishment. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?" She asks in a concerned voice.

"Your majesty, please don't let him die." I start pleading. I could tell that the woman in front of me was at a loss of words. The whole room had fallen into a dead silence. Still, I continued.

"He can only come when he has lived for a hundred years; I refuse to let him die a day early. He has to live. He should get to do everything that I didn't get to. See places I've never been to, eat foods I've only dreamed of, and fulfill every dream in his heart."

"He has to live a long life, your highness. He should fall in love, marry a girl as beautiful as him, have children, and become a grandfather and then one day die of old age in a warm bed surrounded by those that love him." I finished and right after started choking on the amount of tears that were threatening to break me apart.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. _It's going to be alright_, I told myself. No matter what happens Natsume Hyuga will not die in the next 100 days.


	4. Chapter 4: Sucked In

Silence.

It's deafening.

The room was dead still as I sat down on the floor by the queen's chair with my head down. No one talked, tension filled the air.

I could tell I had stepped on a land mine by the way I had out rightly pleaded the Queen with the impossible.

Angels shouldn't plead or beg. Ever. It was unbecoming; then again angels should never break into sanctuaries or enter restricted areas or ever be brought into the higher ups palace for judgment. If anything, I know from this experience that I'm not cut out to be an angel.

Maybe I'll try for the death angel position. It's got to be easier.

_Someone say something_. If anything this situation was getting awkward for me.

I was about to look up and start begging again if only to break the silence but then I heard a laugh.

It was so clear and bright. Like the sound of bells. You could tell that this is what children hear in their dreams or what makes babies laugh. I looked up to see the youngest higher up laughing.

There was a sense of shock in the room. Someone gasped while everyone else gaped at the little boy who continued to laugh so hard that tears sprung into his wide eyes.

Was it that weird to see a child laugh? Clearly these people have been away from earth for a very long time.

The young boy ran from his high seat in the throne room. He ran towards me and stopped mere inches from me. He smiled and put his tiny hands to the sides of my face.

He wiped my tears and put his forehead on mine. Up close his eyes look blue, almost like the sea when it reflects the sun's rays. Cute could not even start to define this boy, he was beyond dazzling.

"Don't cry pretty lady." The boy whispered to me as more tears came out of my eyes for some unknown reason. He wiped them away with the sleeve of his gown.

"Ash." The queen called the child in a voice filled with surprise and astonishment. He looked up at her and said loud enough for the whole room to hear.

"Mother, I have decided. I will send this celestial woman to earth where she will stay for exactly one hundred days." He said in a commanding tone.

The other higher up that was left stood up and walked towards the Queen to face us and stared directly at the little boy with his silver eyes. "Ash you-"

"Father, Mother, this is my decision. I wish for Mikan to go down to earth and I give her permission to do anything within her power to prevent the death of Natsume Hyuga so long as it does not defy any law of heaven." Ash said to the higher ups who only grew more shocked with his every word.

The way he talked and the way everyone in the room seemed to bow down made me wonder if maybe he was the strongest and commanding of the higher ups and not the Queen.

"Ash, think about this, you would be changing hundreds of fates, dear." The Queen told her son.

"I'm aware mother." He said, but then he turned to me and his eyes seemed to sparkle as he said, "But maybe this in itself is fate. Maybe this is what was meant to be. We'll never know. If those fates get changed then they were never meant to be from the beginning."

"Ash, a human changing another human's destiny is normal. Humans can shape their fate but an angel cannot temper with human destiny and you know that." Ash's father said.

Ash never looked away from me as he said, "I do know father, but did you ever wonder why we don't save humans from disaster when we have the power to. Why we don't change their destiny for the better?"

Everyone grew quiet.

Ash looked at me and asked, "Mikan, do you know?"

I thought about it for a minute.

"Because you've given us that power as well. We can choose between right and wrong. We can change our own fates by the choices we make." I answered unsurely.

Ash smiled hugely. "That's correct. Humans have that power but do they realize? No, many just blame us. What Mikan wants to do is what I have wanted to do countless times. If she can save her loved one and give him hope so much that his destiny will change for the better then who are we to stand in her way?"

No one said anything. I think I've had enough random silences to last me an eternity, so I broke it this time.

"Then, can I go?" I asked Ash.

"Yes, you may. But you must come back within the next one hundred days." He reminded me.

"Yes, of course. I won't stay a second longer." I can go. I can go! I can see Natsume, I can save him. My heart suddenly filled with such longing for him. Today is probably the happiest I have been since I have come to heaven. Yes, not even the delicious heavenly food has made me this happy.

"Your majesty please wait. If I may, this girl is not yet an angel, and even though she is in training she does not have wings. She cannot face the dangers of earth in her current condition." The bald angel stopped Ash.

Ok, I've had enough of baldy getting in my way.

"I don't know if it occurred to you, but I have been on earth before. I died and came here, remember?" I glared at the angel's bald head willing him to grow hair so that I can rip it out. That would probably hurt. Yes, that would hurt.

Ash seemed to think of this as he stopped all of a sudden. "He's right. You can't go if you're not a full fledged angel."

"Please, I'll be fine. I promise I'll come back." I pleaded, besides is it possible for someone to die twice? Do angels die as well?

Ash sighed. "I'm afraid I can't let you go alone."

Okay, time to go find a hair growth formula for baldy.

Ash suddenly brightened. "But it would work if someone accompanies you. Yes, then it is alright. Is there anyone who wishes to guide Mikan on earth and protect her during that time as well?"

No one spoke. Well that was expected. Now what? Do I plead again? I'm getting tired of this.

I was about to ask for time to go and find someone willing to come with me when someone from the back raised their hand and spoke.

"I'll take her." Kitsuneme said.

As if the room could get any more quiet. I'll admit that was really unexpected considering the fact that I didn't even know this guy and yet he had not only covered for me twice but also was willing to help me go to earth.

But as I looked deeply into those familiar green eyes I knew suddenly that Heaven was not the first place we met at.

"Then it is settled. Let it be known that Ashlyn Mauve Callinbar the First Prince of Heaven gives permission to Mikan Sakura, an angel in training to go to earth in the company of Sir Kitsuneme and save a human from dieing within the next 100 days. And every angel and non angel in this room is a witness to this command. Anyone who perceives my command as unjust or wrong may answer to me." And just like that the final words of the young prince marked the conclusion of my story in heaven.

"Do you have everything Mikan?" Matrimony asked anxiously as she checked my small backpack for the umpteenth time.

"Yes, Magic Spell Book, Healing Elixir, Your Charms and The Communication Sphere." I sighed. I was going on a mission not a fieldtrip.

"Remember to call me at least once everyday, I'll be watching you from my Keepsake Crystal." She sighed sadly.

"I'll be fine. A hundred days are nothing. I'll be back before you even know it." I hugged her tightly.

"Just be careful." She said hugging me back gently.

"I will." I said and ran off to join Kitsuneme at the Edge.

He was standing at the Edge. The Edge is where Heaven gets cut off and Earth starts. If we jump to the left we would fall in Hell and if we fall right than we would fall on Earth. This is why wings are important.

"Ready?" Kitsuneme asked me.

"Yeah," I said as I looked back at Matrimony and waved.

Kitsuneme took my waist gently and I buried my head into his chest as my arms circled around his neck and I held on as his giant wings soared down towards the dark abyss which I presumed to be Earth.

We flew and flew until I could feel the arms of time that surrounded earth. Unlike Heaven which was immortal, Earth had a limit, more precisely it was timed. We flew down and I could make out the familiar glow of the city lights. Tokyo. We made it.

We stopped on top of the Tokyo Tower. I looked at Kitsuneme questionably, I know we didn't plan anything but why did we stop here as opposed to the ground?

"You need a mortal body. As of right now no one can see you, you're invisible to the human eye." Kitsuneme said as his brown hair flew lightly in the night sky.

"Ok. Can I choose one we're on the ground? I can't really tell from up here." I said.

"That's alright, I can. There are a lot of vacant bodies and I'm sure that we can borrow one. Just tell me your preference." Kitsuneme said patiently.

Wow. I get to choose. I decided to take my chances and be selfish. "Ok, can I get a girl around my age? Make sure she's pretty and rich. And she has to go to Natsume's school and be in his class."

Kitsuneme closed his eyes for a moment and went completely still. "Ok, I think I've got it. Luna Koizumi, age 17 same as you. She's beautiful and lives the life of a princess. She goes to Gakuen Alice and is in the same year as Natsume Hyuga."

We then started flying again. Wow. I looked at Kitsuneme in amazement, definitely a good thing he is here. We flew towards a large hospital and I looked through the window in front of me.

A young girl lay there with her body strapped to countless machines. There was something strapped under her nose and needles were poked through her arms. Even from this distance I could see that the girl was beautiful with long blonde hair that was layered stylishly. She had ivory skin and dark lashes.

I looked at Kitsuneme and he gestured for me to go in.

I walked through the window and went to sit beside the lovely girl.

"So, how do I do this?" I asked Kitsuneme who had come to stand beside me.

"Put your hand on her forehead then you should hear her voice. Ask her permission. If she says yes, you're soul will just transfer into her." Kitsuneme told me.

I put my and on her forehead and just as Kitsuneme said, I heard a melodies and sad voice. It was strangely detached, like it held no emotion.

_Who are you? What do you want?_ The voice asked.

_Mikan Sakura, I'm an angel in training. Can I borrow your body for a while?_ I asked her.

_Take it forever for all I care_. She said.

Suddenly I felt as though something was sucking me in. It was strong and forceful, it made my head spin and I was pretty sure that it was bobbing from side to side. When the spinning and sucking stopped I opened my eyes, and saw the white ceiling of the hospital.


	5. Chapter 5: Deja Vu

**Disclaimer: I don't Gakuen Alice**

_Painful_. That's what my first thought was when I woke up in Luna's body. I had almost forgotten the feeling of pain, its searing hotness and angry rhythm was almost lost to me. But this didn't make me sad, if anything, I was happy. Feeling pain meant I was alive again; the jabbing needles at my sides and this bruised body gave me a feeling of bliss. I turned my head to the side and saw Kitsuneme staring down at me. When he met my eyes he smiled a congratulatory smile my way.

"You made it; she has given you full control of her body. I'm surprised she didn't even ask for a contract." Kitsuneme said rubbing his chin.

"Is that bad?" I ask. Wow. That cannot be my voice. I know that it was me who said the words but the voice wasn't my own. It was sweet, soft and velvety. Man, this girl had it all, the face, the body and even the voice. I would say that I'm not envious but then I'd be lying.

"Not really, it just means that if she wants, she can take her body back before the one hundred days are over." Kitsuneme said thoughtfully.

"Don't worry. You can have it for as long as you want, in fact once you're done with it, I wouldn't mind if you discarded it for me." The sound of the voice was identical to the sound that came from me but this time it wasn't me that spoke the words. The sound had come from my left, towards the corner of the wall from where I could make out the soul of Luna Koizumi floating.

She floated towards me, stopping next to my bed…or her bed? She gave me a long look and then turned her attention to Kitsuneme. Her eyes were ice blue; they were cold and distant yet remarkably beautiful.

"Don't stay that. If you don't have a body, how will you live?" I told her.

She gave me a flat look. "I wonder. Oh wait, that's right, it's because I don't want to live. Why else would I jump from a ten story high building?"

"You-you were trying to commit suicide?" I gasped. I couldn't imagine why someone would want to throw away there lives.

"Not everyone wants to live in this cruel world you know. If only we were given a choice before we were born of whether we want to or not." She finishes her voice getting sadder and her eyes angrier.

I simply stared. There was nothing I could say to this beautiful girl who was so ready to throw away so much that she was blessed with.

"Where are you going?" Kitsuneme asked Luna, "Now that you don't have a body to return to, are you just going to wander?"

"Yeah, maybe I'll find a way to end my life out there." She said and then disappeared through the open window.

Kitsuneme and I just started at each other. Unbelievable. Were there really people out there who were ready to throw away everything? Do they not know what it means to only have one life?

My thoughts were interrupted when the door flew open. A girl with long black hair and familiar green eyes walked inside. When her eyes found mine they stopped, she froze and looked completely baffled. I was surprised by her painfully familiar face. She had gotten green highlights and her hair was longer. But she still had those exotic emerald eyes and the same delicate features.

Yes, this was the girl who I had lunch with when we were in elementary school, she was the girl who fell head over heels for Natsume and became the president of his fan club, she was the one that beat all the girls in school and courageously confessed her undying love for him in middle school. And even then, when he rejected her, she smiled and never gave up, always loving him deep inside; she was the girl who bullied me when I first came to Alice Academy, and then protected me from the same bullies who were her friends. She was the one who sadly smiled when I told her that Natsume became my boyfriend and told me that if he ever broke my heart, she would beat him to a pulp. She was the loyal girl who had sacrificed love for friendship. I held her gaze feeling a hundred different emotions coursing through me. Sumire.

"Luna? No way. You're awake, oh…Oh my God!" Sumire made a beeline towards me and threw her arms around me crushing me against her chest and the needles.

"Yeah, it's good to see you too but ouch…this kind of hurts." I said, my voice muffled by her hair. I was so happy to see her; I didn't know what to do.

"What? Oh. Sorry." She said releasing me. She looked at me and smiled and then a look of shock came across her pretty features.

"Wait. Why are you happy? You should be mad. You would have never let me touch you like this." Sumire looked at me sadly and then suspiciously.

"Did you hit your head? The doctor said there was no damage to your skull…"

"Oh, maybe I did…I'm sorry, Sumire. I shouldn't have jumped. It was wrong; it must've made you sad right?" I said. I had no idea what Luna's relationship with Sumire is like but then even if it is bad I can't bring myself to be mean to Sumire. It has been so long since I had last seen her after all, so for at least these hundred days until Luna comes back, I will act like Mikan Sakura and talk to my best friend.

Sumire didn't reply, she was still shocked, but then she saw something on my face and got momentarily distracted by it.

"Luna, what happened to your eyes?" She said staring at my face.

"What? What happened to them?" I asked her.

"They're not blue anymore…they changed colors." She said inspecting my eyes closely.

"What?" I looked sideways at Kitsuneme who looked at my eyes in disbelief as if noticing the difference only now.

"They're the color of your eyes. They've turned hazel; even their shape has become wider. They look identical to yours," Kitsuneme replied, shocked.

Sumire was still staring at me when the door swung open and a young woman walked in. She didn't look past thirty with dark brown locks that cascaded down her small clear face. Her eyes were green, the same foreign color as Sumire's but they were a bit too small. But then when I looked closely I realized that all the features on her face were tiny. She had a button nose, thin pink lips and tiny yet sparkly green eyes. Her face also, was small. She was cute, in a childish yet mature way.

She was dressed elegantly and her every step was laced with dignity and grace. I could've mistaken her for a Queen if not for Sumire's breathless voice when she said,

"Mother."

The woman looked at Sumire and her eyes softened but then her eyes landed on me and a look of disgust crossed her small, delicate features.

"I see you're finally awake Luna, I'm so glad." She looked anything but glad to see me.

"Your father is in an important meeting right now and I'll inform him of your recovery right after he's done. In the meantime would you care to explain to me what the hell you think you were doing when you jumped through that window? Do you have any idea what people are saying? Do you know what I have been putting up with? Do you know what I suffered through all because of your stupid tantrum?"

"Mother please, she just woke up-" Sumire started only to be cut off by her mother.

"Not now Sumire. I need to teach this bitch a lesson." She said looking at me with such hatred and disgust that I cringed away from her, "Do you even know how to commit suicide? If you wanted to die so badly, there were better ways to do it. You weren't even successful, you stupid girl. You're awake and now I have to deal with you all over again. If only you didn't exist." She finished and slumped on the chair next to Sumire with her elbow bent on her knee so that her hand was holding her forehead.

"I'm sorry?" I hadn't meant for it to come out as a question but it ended up becoming one.

The woman's eyes snapped towards me and a look of disbelief crossed her tawny features.

"Mother, Luna regrets what she did, she wants to be better, and she won't do anything to you so please…" Sumire couldn't continue as the woman walked up towards me and slapped me right across the face. The sound reverberated throughout the whole room. My head spun and I saw white hot pain. The needless jabbed into my skin and my sore body burned because of the sudden movement.

"Mother!" Sumire shouted running towards me.

"What the hell? Did you break your head bitch? 'I'm sorry?' Who do you think you're screwing with? I hate you. I hate every single thing about you. If you didn't exist I'd be the future owner of the Koizumi Hotel Chain. Are you trying to make amends? Lure me in with your non-existing kindness. You know why I married that idiot father of yours. I want the company, and I will make you go through hell and back until you give it to me.

I never thought I would actually meet the she devil. Her gorgeous, cruel eyes were inhumane. And to think that not only was she Sumire's biological mother but Luna, or my temporary, step-mother?

Sumire was crying on the floor as the she-devil left through the hospital door off to do no good, and ruin more lives probably. I sat up with a lot of effort, taking out the needless and resting against the fluffy pillow behind me.

"Sumire don't cry. Come here." I ushered her towards me.

She stood up sniffling. "I'm sorry Luna, I've been trying to do something about her, but she won't listen to me. I hate her so much for doing this to you. I hate her," She said holding my hands tightly and sobbing.

Things were starting to make sense now. Luna Koizumi, the girl who has it all, the looks, the money and the family, has actually been suffering. She has a distant father, an abusive step mother and her only solace, is a loving step-sister. This is quite a Cinderella Story.

Except maybe in this twisted story, I might be her prince. Only I too have a prince to save. I look over at Kitsuneme and meet his eyes, knowing that we're both thinking the same thing.

_What have we gotten ourselves into?_

The next day I am to get released from the hospital and I meet daddy dearest. He came to pick me up from the hospital. The doctor's orders are to stay in bed for at least a week. Fat chance of that, I had already wasted one day and I wasn't going to spend another minute lying down doing nothing. I can see that Mr. Koizumi is not a man of many words as he looks at me once then motions for me to follow him. In the car, on our way home, he asks me if I'm hurting and I reply with a 'no' we don't talk at all after that and we reach home a few minutes later. I look out to see a mansion, scratch that, a palace. It's huge and it takes up as much space as my whole village did back in my hometown.

I try not to fall as I stare up at the house and walk towards its shiny white door. The inside is even more lavish and beautiful. Crystal chandeliers and cozy warm walls, I could see a big fireplace towards the end of the large family room.

I catch Kitsuneme looking at me through the kitchen window in the corner. I tip toe my way towards the window and open it.

He smiles down at me, "Do you like it?"

"It doesn't beat the higher ups palace but it comes close to it," I answer him, grinning.

He grins back and says, "Come on, I'll show you your room."

I follow him up a grand stair case, aware that maids and butlers have their eyes on me. When we reach the end of the hallway he opens the last door to the left, which I'm guessing is my room. I enter it only to be struck but how dark it is. Black walls, Blood red covers and the darkest shade of purple are my curtains. How does someone sleep in here? There is a computer off to the side and a large walk in closet that barely has any clothes in it. The only clothes that habitat with in it are black or shades of grey. What is wrong with Luna?

The one light piece of clothing that I see is hung to one side of the closet away from all the other clothes. I venture deeper into the closet to inspect the outfit. It's a uniform, more precisely Alice Academy's uniform. It was hung with such care and pressed pristine that it made me wonder about Luna and her thoughts on Alice Academy.

I ran my hands through the familiar fabric with a sense of nostalgia bubbling within me. It was funny, whenever I pictured this moment it was always my daughter's Alice Academy uniform I would be looking at.

I closed the closet and went to sit on the bed. After a moment I hugged my knees to my chest and put my chin on them. I suddenly felt nervous. I would go back to school and meet Natsume again, except, he wouldn't know that it would be me.

I fell a sleep in that dark room exhausted by my thoughts of tomorrow.

I awoke with a start. I blinked and focused on the alarm clock by the side table. 7:41.

Crap. Class was going to start in less than twenty minutes. I jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom, swiftly brushing and cleaning my face. I had a strong sense of Déjà vu remembering how my mornings would always start like this. I changed out of the jeans and t-shirt I had fallen asleep in and threw on the short checkered skirt and pale white blouse of Alice Academy's uniform. I was surprised by how I remembered to swiftly put my hands and legs through the right holes. Once I was done, I checked my appearance in the mirror. Hazel eyes stared back at me. I remember I had read somewhere that the eyes are the windows to a person's soul. Looking in the mirror I could say that I was now a believer of that.

Luna's hair was a mess. I had horrible sleeping posture and would always wake up with bed head that took me hours to fix. My hair I could deal with, Luna's on the other hand I was scared to infiltrate. I glanced at the clock to see that it was now 7:45. Ok, my plan to look good on my first day has flown out the window. Sighing, I grabbed my hair and put it in a messy ponytail at the top of my head.

With that I flew down the stairs, nearly tripping over the last step but catching myself on time. I hurried into the kitchen and made a beeline for the fridge. I chugged down a bottle of milk and grabbed a toast from the table, ignoring the stares that the chefs were giving me.

I ran outside to see a black limo with an elderly man sitting at the driver's seat. I paused in front of it. I blinked and then remembering that I couldn't afford hesitation I jumped in the car.

"You're going to be late Young Mistress." The man says.

"Yeah, I know, Can you please hurry? Just this one time can you please try and cross as many lights as possible?" I pleaded to the man from my backseat.

He blinked at me as though I had spoken in Arabic, but then he recovered and swiftly put the car to drive and raced down the road.

I had to hand it to him, the guy was a really good driver, and I probably wouldn't have been able to pull off half the sharp turns he took. We arrived in front of Alice Academy five minutes before I was due for classes.

"Thanks!" I yelled at the nice old driver and grabbed my bag pack. I made a run for the doors and made it inside before they closed. I ran towards the high school building and saw Kitsuneme standing there leaning casually against the wall.

"Wow, you actually got here, I was convinced you wouldn't make it." He said giving me an impressed look.

"Nice to know you have so much confidence in me." I said bitterly. This was not how I had pictured my return to look like.

Kitsuneme just grinned.

Apparently Kitsuneme had gotten here earlier to find out information on Luna in an attempt to keep my cover. She was in class 3B, which would be starting in exactly one minute. I rushed down towards the class making it in just before the bell rings. I gasp out of breath. Take that Time, it's my win today.

I look up to see familiar and foreign faces staring at me with identical looks of shock. Then the whispers started.

"_Did you hear? She jumped from a ten story building."_

I cringed and made my way towards the teacher who was busy taking attendance.

"_I heard someone pushed her."_

"_What? Hey, maybe it's Sumire." _

"_No way! Actually that's very possible considering how she is."_

They giggle. I throw them the dirtiest look I can muster and they shut up immediately.

I sigh. High school.

"Ah, I see your back Ms. Koizumi. Please take a seat in the top back," He looks back and adjust his glasses then turns to me again, "That's right, I almost forgot, your former partner was transferred while you were away so you'll be assigned someone new."

I nod and make my way to the top. A serious sense of Déjà vu washes over me as I encounter lethal eyes and prejudice smiles. I meet familiar amethyst eyes which widen when they see me. Hotaru. I almost start crying when I see her but hold myself together remembering that I'm not currently in my own body. She's become more beautiful. Her hair is longer, past her shoulders now, she still has the same neutral face but her features are more angular now, no longer holding any signs of childishness.

I walk up, higher and stop again when I see familiar blue eyes. Ruka. He looks at me once and then does a double take. I smile at him and he returns it hesitantly. He looks taller, more mature, no longer a bashful boy. He still looks like the typical Prince Charming that every girl dreams of with his bright blue eyes and golden hair.

I sit down a chair down from him. I look at the person in the middle of me and Ruka and see a thick coat of Raven hair. I gulp. He has his head in his arms and I can hear light breathing. He's sleeping. Natsume is sleeping. I sigh in relief. The situation seems surreal. Just two days ago I was watching him from a crystal ball where he was a world away and now he's at arm's length but I don't know what to do.

Life really has a way of torturing you in the weirdest ways. I want to see him, talk to him, touch him and make sure he won't disappear in a puff of smoke but all I do, all that I can do, is sit there, frozen to my chair.

Years pass, and centuries go by. When class finally ends and I hear the familiar bell I feel like I've lived a million lives. Everyone gets up and Natsume shifts a little.

"Get up, class is over. Finish your nap in the next class." Ruka says to the boy next to me.

I stay frozen not sure if I want him to leave or stay. The teacher makes the decision for me.

"Natsume, you don't have a partner anymore right? Pair up with Koizumi, her partner transferred." The teacher says and then leaves the room.

I turn my head to Natsume's direction and find his cold stare on me. He looks at me for a heartbeat then narrows his eyes and walks away. Ruka gives me a sheepish look and then he too follows his friend out the classroom.

I slump in my chair as the boys leave. I sigh. I bury my head in my hands. A year of no contact and a simple look from him has my head spinning and my feet frozen.

**A/N: Thank you so much for your reviews, reading them makes my day!**


	6. Chapter 6: Friends

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice**

**Dedication: Sam, because even though she hasn't written a piece of story her entire life, she has so much to say about the flaws in my story. I'm totally kidding, thanks for all the advice; I did my best and tried to improve! Hope you like it~**

I slump under a tree with its roots cushioning me. It was lunch time now. Normally I would be happy to finally get a chance to eat but the lack of improvement in the day's event stole my appetite. I put my lunch bag next to me and look up at the sky. It was a beautiful day; the sky was clear and the few white clouds that were in the sky floated peacefully.

I sighed feeling melancholic, not even a nice day can lift my mood. I don't know what's wrong with me but I can't even utter a single word to Natsume. I haven't talked to Hotaru either. I wish Sumire were here but she had tons of sleep to catch up on because of staying awake the nights Luna fell into a coma.

I had become such a coward, if it was the old me I would've gone up to Natsume and hit him upside the head for causing me so much trouble in Heaven and making me come to earth just to save his sorry butt. I would've slapped him silly for not letting me exist in peace and keeping me from enjoying all of Heaven's delicious foods. But I couldn't do that, because that girl disappeared the day I died.

"Hey! Come see this! That third year Natsume is beating up some freshman! Man he's hurt so bad I feel so sorry for the poor kid."

"What? Where is it? I want to see!"

"It's in the Cafeteria! Dude, you gotta see this, the freshmen's bleeding so much! Come on!

I watched the two boys run inside the school building heading for the Cafeteria. I blinked, did I here that right? My muscles froze and my turkey sandwich stopped midway to my mouth.

Suddenly I was angry. _He's beating someone up? _I forgot all the bashfulness and hesitation that I had with Natsume earlier and felt only one emotion that overpowered the others.I was pissed, I couldn't remember the last time I was so mad. I had made him promise me that he would NEVER fight, no matter what. I stuffed the sandwich in my lunch bag and threw it to the side of the tree.

I stood up and marched towards the cafeteria. My mind was blurred with anger, I wasn't even thinking of where I was heading, my body guided me through the long hallways and the right turns, remembering the way to the cafeteria where I had been eating lunch all my life.

There was a ring of people surrounding something. Students were standing in a circle whooping and laughing. They thought this was fun. Anger boiled in my veins as I stalked forward, elbowing my way through the crowds of people to reach the middle.

Natsume was punching and kicking, he was swift and his opponent didn't even have a chance to blink before he was beaten up. His nose was bleeding and his eyes were bruised but he still stood his ground and tried to fight back. What an idiot, why couldn't he just run away? Boys and their egos. I walked to stand in between the two morons. I hated it when Natsume fought; he would get so angry that he would forget that the person he was fighting with was another human being, not his punching bag. Besides, this fight was hardly fair, Natsume was trained in martial arts and had experience in fighting since he was a little kid. He moved his fist back and ran straight for the freshman aiming for his torso.

I knew this move. Natsume was coming for the final hit which would end the fight. He was going to aim at his opponent's stomach to knock out any of the breath left in him. I had seen this move countless times. A hundred thoughts flew into my head as I ran in front of him and pushed him in the chest, _hard_. He staggered backwards mostly out of the shock. He glared at me and I glared back. I remember the first time I tried to use this move which ended with me in the hospital knocked out for hours.

He felt guilty then and I had used that to make him promise me that he wouldn't fight anyone ever again. Needless to say that the promise was short lived.

"What the hell? Get out of my way." He spat at me. His eyes were livid and I knew that I was in danger zone.

I would've backed off knowing that the look he gave me was one of fury and under normal circumstances it meant that no one could do anything to stop him but I was just as angry as him right now.

"Stop this; can't you see how much you've hurt him?" I said my voice hard.

"This is none of your business." I could tell that he was trying to control his voice.

I looked away from him and towards the crowd of high school students who were all staring at me. I glared at them with unmasked anger.

"Shows over, get out." I said evenly.

No one moved.

"_Isn't that Luna?"_

"_Yeah, the one that tried to commit suicide"_

"_What is she doing?"_

"_She jumped from a building, maybe she broke her head."_

Someone laughed.

I looked back at Natsume feeling the anger and adrenaline seeping out of my body. It was leaving a cold and numb feeling in its wake. He stared into my eyes for a long time and I held his stare willing myself not to look away. He took a step forward and then stopped looking over my head.

"Natsume! The teachers are coming, you can't get another suspension. Come on, let's go." It was Ruka and he was breathless from running.

Natsume looked at me once and then ran in the other direction just a few seconds before a teacher came in. I stared at Natsume's retreating back until he turned a corner and disappeared.

The teachers dispersed the crowd and took the injured freshman into the Nurse's office. I sunk to my knees being the only person left in the cafeteria.

I slumped my way to last period feeling stares being burned into my back. Just one more period and then the day would be over, yes just one more hour and I could go home to Sumire. I made my way to the Art room and went to the back of the classroom to sit by the window.

"Heloo claas! Tudai ve vill bee lerneeng abot tha different oyal paintings! Everywon peek a patnar and choos colars from my table to paint with." The art teacher was at the front of the class showing different oil paintings. She had a strong accent and was very cheery for the end of a school day.

"Oo Natsumey! Thangyuu foar joining uss!" She bellowed as Natsume came in through the door and went to take a seat by the desk beside me. He looked at me and stiffened. He didn't realize that I would be sitting next to him.

"Okay, farst oaf, let me tel you abot the nature of oyals." The teacher continued and went off into a passionate lecture about the different colors and their role in history with tortured artists.

I looked at Natsume from the corner of my eye to see that he had his head down in his arms. Was he sleeping again? I stared at him in disbelief. How much could one person sleep?

This idiot, he makes everything so difficult for me. I don't know what it is that makes me love him so much, he's the exact opposite of what my ideal was. I stared at his sleeping posture feeling the familiar tug in my heart, I miss him. I want to tell him it's me and hold him again. But he wouldn't believe me, and if he did by some miracle then he wouldn't let go of me, even when my time in this world would end, again. It was painful to watch some one who once cared about you so much treat you like a stranger.

I had been debating whether it was better for me to just protect Natsume from a distance instead of trying to befriend him again since I didn't know how exactly I befriended him when I was seven. But looking at him now and watching him disarrayed made me realize that he was more of a mess than I had realized. The keepsake crystal didn't show everything about him after all.

Friends huh? I decided to give it a try.

_Hi._ I scrawled into a piece of paper and slammed it on his desk so that he would wake up if he was sleeping.

He stirred, looked at the paper and pushed it off his desk. It fell to the floor and I picked it up.

Swallowing my pride and embarrassment, I tried again.

_Are you sleeping?_ I wrote and put it on his desk with a bit of force.

He spared me a glance this time and turned his head the other way.

I gritted my teeth and continued.

_Answer._ I wrote simply and shoved it at him forcefully. I was going to make him reply even if it was the last thing I do.

This time he stared at me in disbelief and I stared back. He took my note, crumpled it up threw to the ground.

'Be patient,' I told myself and tried one last time going for a different tactic.

_Please Answer, I just want to be friends_. I scribbled and put it on his desk.

This time he had the courtesy to reply.

_I'm not interested. _He wrote and threw at me.

_Why not? _I wrote back.

_I have all the friends I need._

_There's always room for more friends in life._

_Not in mine._

_Don't be so bitter, pretty boy._

The corner of his mouth lifted for half a second before he wrote me a reply.

_Why do you want to be my friend?_

I had to think about that one. I couldn't tell him that I was trying to get close to him so that I could watch over him and make sure that he survived to see the next one hundred days. I also couldn't tell him that I was the girlfriend he lost a year ago.

_I don't know._ I said at a loss of better words.

He looked at me and then crumpled the piece of paper, throwing it at me this time.

I took out another piece of paper and scrawled in it.

_I am the reincarnation of Cleopatra. _

He stared at the paper for a long time and then scrawled back.

_What good is a dead queen to me?_

_Having a dead queen for a friend would be very beneficial to you._

He considered this and then wrote back.

_If I say we can be friends, will you stop writing?_

_Yes._

_Lets be Friends._

I grinned at the paper and looked at him only to see him roll his eyes at me.

_If you insist_. I wrote and was ready to catch the piece of paper that came back flying towards me, crumpled.

I felt accomplished as the bell rang moments later signaling the end of the school day. Natsume was out of his seat and walking out the door as I scrambled to pack my notebook and pencils in my bag to join him.

"Hey! Wait up!" I yelled at him. He ignored me and continued walking faster. Of course.

I sprinted at full speed and almost knocked into him. I ran to catch up and walk by his side.

"We're friends now so can't you slow down?"

"Are you asking me as a friend?" He asked looking down at me. I had forgotten how tall he was; I had to strain my neck just to look at him.

I nodded.

He sped up and left me to run in order to catch up again,

"What's your deal?! You agreed to be friends!" I said breathlessly.

"Correction: I didn't agree, I said that so you would stop writing." He had such an infuriatingly beautiful face.

"Regardless, you said it yourself!" I said and then dashed in front of him to block his path. He glared at me, annoyed. It was almost comical, he was probably twice as strong as me but here I was daring him to take a step forward.

He took a step to the side and I moved symmetrical to him, efficiently blocking his path again. He sighed and gave up.

"Fine, fine. We're friends, now move." He said exasperated. I didn't stop him this time as he stepped around me and continued walking.

"So…how old are you?" I asked as I caught up to him and walked beside him. I already knew but Luna didn't.

"Why do you care?" He asked gruffly.

"Because I'm your friend and friends know each others age." I replied matter-of-factly.

"How old are you?" I'm pretty sure Kitsuneme said that Luna was seventeen.

"I asked first." I replied stubbornly.

"How can I trust you?" He asked.

"What does your age have anything to do with trust?"

"It has everything to do with trust."

This irritating boy, "Well since we're friends you have to trust me!" I said exasperatedly, there was just no understanding this idiot.

"Well show me you trust me as a friend by telling me your age." Real mature Natsume.

"I'm Seventeen." I surrendered.

"Me too." He said cheekily.

I didn't realize where we were walking until Natsume stopped and I looked up to see the boys' dormitory.

"Do you want to come inside my room as well, or do friends not get those privileges?" He asked me with his eyebrows raised suggestively.

"Funny." I told him and turned around blushing. Stupid Natsume, he was still perverted, saying something like that to an innocent girl.

I was about to walk away when it occurred to me that Natsume had been living at home for as long as I can remember. He said that he preferred living at home because there he could have his own space.

"You're living in the dorms?" I asked looking back at him.

"Yeah, I moved a few weeks ago." He answered.

"Why?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Why do you have so many questions?" He said looking annoyed.

"I'm a curious person." I shrugged.

"Well, I'm a keep to myself, mysterious person," he said and turned around to walk to the dorms.

I didn't stop him since I didn't want to annoy him away the first day. I turned back and walked the direction that I came from making my way out of the school and to the driveway where I knew that a black limo would be waiting for me.

"How was your day?" I asked the driver. I really wanted to know his name but I didn't know how to ask the question without looking stupid and rude since Luna probably knew his name.

He looked taken aback by my question, "It was good, how was yours?"

"It was nice, I made a new friend." I said happily.

"That's nice, who was it?" He asked, looking at me through the rear-view mirror.

I spent the rest of the ride talking about Natsume, I have to admit, Luna's driver was a very good listener; he paid attention to my every word and asked questions to clarify. I really needed to find out this guy's name.

We parked in Luna's humongous garage next to a red BMW. I wonder who that belonged to. I looked at the old driver and asked him if he wanted to come inside and eat something.

He looked at me weirdly, "Servants aren't allowed in the main house. Only the cleaning staff is."

"Oh," I had no idea, "Sorry," I said.

He smiled at me in a grandfatherly way, "It's alright, if you're worried about your mother, she's not here, she had to attend a garden party." He said and got out of the car to open my door.

I smiled, so he knew about the relationship between Luna and her evil stepmother. That's good; at least Luna had companions other than Sumire.

I waved at him as I entered the door. I walked straight to Sumire's bedroom which Kitsuneme had told me was the one before mine on the third floor. Speaking of Kitsuneme, I hadn't seen him since this morning when he ditched me first period. What was he up to?

I walked up the giant staircase to the third floor. I passed the second floor which was filled with rooms with mahogany doors. One of them was open and I squinted from the staircase and spied antiques and paintings. It looked like there was a white sofa to the center of the room with a tea set in front of it. A large painting of an angel was behind the sofa, and a gold tapestry hung from the side of the room, only half visible to me.

I was tempted to go inside but I ignored it and continued my way up, I wanted to see Sumire. When I got to the third floor I was panting out of breath. Why were there so many stairs? If these people were so rich, they should get an elevator, it would save so much time and energy.

I knocked on Sumire's door and heard a quiet 'come in.' I entered and saw her on the computer typing something.

"Hey," I said.

"Luna! Your back, oh come sit here," She said gesturing to a wooden chair beside her.

Sumire's room was the complete opposite of Luna's, her walls were cream colored, she had lilac covers and the lightest shade of pink dominated her curtains. Her room was smaller than mine; she had a computer on one corner and a large bookshelf on the other.

"How was school?" She said typing.

"It was good, how was your day?" I said looking at what she was typing.

"Boring. I slept and slept and then woke up and decided to finish my homework. Wait, did you just say that school was _good_?" She said turning her head and scrutinizing me.

"Waoh! Are you wearing the school uniform? And what happened to your hair?" She said as though she had only seen me now.

"Uh yeah, I was in a hurry so I didn't have time to fix my hair. I just came from school so I'm wearing the uniform, I was going to change, I just wanted to see you first…" I was confused by her expression; she was looking at me as if I was out of my mind.

"Luna, you never wear the uniform. And you always take care of your hair like it's your life." She said baffled.

"Well what do I wear then?" I should've asked Luna questions on her daily wardrobe.

"Uhh, your own clothes? Are you okay? You've been acting weird since the accident." She said looking at me worriedly now.

"What? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. It's just I thought a change would be nice." I answered. Weird? Is acting normal Luna's definition of weird?

"Ok…" she said still looking at me worriedly.

I stood up, "I should go, I need to change and I'm starving." I said quickly and charged for her door.

"You're hungry?" I heard her say as I closed her door.

What? Did Luna starve herself too? I went to Luna's room to change only to be scared out of my skin when I saw Kitsuneme on the bed.

"Ah! Don't scare me like that. What are you doing? And where have you been?" I folded my arms and stared at him suspiciously.

"I've been around. How was school?" He said resting his arms behind his head.

"Good. Get off of Luna's bed Kitsuneme, and what do you mean 'around'?" I said taking out a pair of sweats and t-shirt out of Luna's closet to change into.

"Well somebody needed to do a background check on Luna and see what your boyfriend's been up to." He said still lying on Luna's bed comfortably.

"Good, make yourself useful." I said and then entered Luna's bathroom to change. The sweats were snug and fit me perfectly but the shirt was baggy and too long. I didn't mind though, they were comfortable.

I got back out and hung the uniform in Luna's closet. "So what did you find out?" I asked sitting on the computer chair.

"About Luna? Nothing that we don't already know. You've probably figured out that she's a loner at school by now. Apparently she was bullied by some girls a few years ago which made her shut herself off to anyone. She has average grades, no special talent and the only thing that makes her stand out from a crowd is her family status and face." He finished.

I figured as much, but I disagreed with Luna being average. That was mean to say, and anyway we don't know her enough to say that.

"What about Natsume?" I asked him, I had thought that the Keepsake crystal showed me everything but I was wrong, there was something very wrong with his behavior, much more than usual.

Kitsuneme got up so that he was in a sitting position with his legs dangling off the bed. He looked at me with that conflicting look again and then ran a hand through his hair, "I thought you might want to see for yourself." He said at last.

"What do you mean?" I said, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"I'll take you to see him tonight, that is, if you want to see what he spends his nights doing." He said staring at a spot on the floor.

Way to be ominous, he wasn't really giving me a choice here. "How will you take me?" I asked instead of answering.

"We can take your soul out of Luna's body temporarily; I can put a seal on her body so that it doesn't rot." He said to the floor.

"Ok, then tonight, after dinner," I said and just in time I heard the door open and footsteps walk in.

**A/N Whew! That was long, or maybe not for you guys. Anyway, thank you to those that reviewed, it meant so much to me and your comments put a smile on my face. Tell me what you think of this chapter! **


	7. Chapter 7: Regret

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice**

**Dedication: Sam. I give you the virtual best friend award because you actually reviewed when I asked you to. Also thanx for putting up with my crap. I just know your smiling while reading this.**

**ALSO, it was brought to my attention that there was a random time leap in Mikan's death from one year to three years from chapter 1 to 5. I did not know that my original plan was to have only one year's time but since that is what it was I have changed Mikan's death year. It happened last year and it has only been one year since she has seen Natsume and everyone, not three years. I went back and changed it as well. Sorry for the confusion! Now, onwards~**

**(^)**

Dinner was quiet. And by that I mean really, really quiet, to the point that it was stifling. I tried to start a conversation, to lighten up the mood but all my advances were shot down at once. For example:

"How was work Dad?" I asked Mr. Koizumi, with a happy smile.

He looked at me like I had grown an extra head, "Normal." He had replied in a tiny voice.

I tried someone else, "Did you like the garden party mom?" I asked the evil step mother sitting across from me.

"Yes." She said at once and looked away.

Okay… "Did you get enough rest Sumire?" I turned to the girl beside me with a forced smile.

"Mmm." She said with her mouth full of food. Wow, I can't get more than a monosyllable reply and the last reply wasn't even a word.

I gave up then and ate my food as fast as possible tired of the looming awkwardness my attempt at conversation had created. I ate mouthfuls of spaghetti and choked it down with apple juice. When I finished I looked up to see the entire Koizumi family staring at me.

"What?" I asked the stares.

"Did you not get enough lunch?" I heard from the father.

"No, I didn't exactly have time to eat it…I was busy." Yeah, busy stopping Natsume from committing murder in front of the entire school.

"Still, are you okay? You shouldn't be eating so much, your still recovering." Sumire said.

I looked at her confused, "Isn't food good for a recovering patient?"

It was the step mother that replied, "She means from your eating disorder." The mother was looking at me weirdly now.

Surprise, surprise, our tragic heroine was also suffering from anorexia.

"Uhh, yeah, I'm fine; I'm just tired so I'm going to go sleep now, goodnight!" I said and ran for the stairs. I climbed the long staircase feeling sick, there was pain in my stomach and it felt like the room started spinning. I held my head and walked the remaining stairs. I dashed for the bathroom in Luna's room once the staircase ended.

I ignored the sink completely and bent next to the toilet to throw up my dinner.

When it felt like there was nothing left in my hollow stomach I got up and washed myself, flushing down the vomit. I got out only and saw Kitsuneme lying on Luna's bed staring at a picture of Luna and a beautiful blonde haired woman with eyes just like Luna's.

"You could've told me she had an eating disorder." I said accusingly.

"And what fun would that be?" He said still looking at the picture. He looked up at me once and said, "You wouldn't have listened and found out the hard way anyway. I decided to save my breath." He said turning back to the framed picture on the side of the bed as though I no longer existed.

I went to the bed and pushed Kitsuneme so that he fell off. I laid there burying my face in the pillows still feeling a bit dizzy.

"You know if I was alive, that would've really hurt." He said climbing on the bed again.

"You wouldn't be alive right now because I would've killed you for entering Luna's bedroom and sitting on her bed." I mumbled against the pillow, shoving Kitsuneme again without looking.

"Fine, fine." He said and went to sit at the computer chair.

Neither of us spoke for a few minutes as I waited for my head to stop spinning.

"What's the plan?" I asked after a few moments of silent recovering, I got up into a sitting position. The spinning was disappearing.

"I'll take out your soul and seal her body, just tell me when you're ready." He said spinning around on the computer chair. Watching him made me sick again so I looked away.

"I'm ready, let's just go." I said.

He looked at me once and then flew towards the bed. "Lie down and put on the blankets, we'll have to create the illusion that she's sleeping in case someone comes up to check on her." He said and I unfolded the red blanket and covered Luna's body with it feeling snug.

He put two fingers on my forehead and mumbled something incoherent. He opened two palms in front of me and I put my two hands in them. He pulled me and I was flying with him feeling like I was as light as a feather. He carried my weight by my shoulder and my feet were on top of his. We were floating on top of Luna's bed and when I looked back down at it I was shocked to see Luna sleeping there, breathing evenly.

I looked at Kitsuneme in surprise, "How is she sleeping?"

He grinned boyishly at me, "It's an illusion, technically her body is soulless but it's preserved so that you can return."

I was amazed, and a bit envious I admit. I couldn't even fly and yet this boy could do such remarkable things.

We flew out the window with Kitsuneme still supporting most of my weight. I didn't know where we were going, it was dark and everything looked unfamiliar to me. As we continued flying I started getting a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. After a while I recognized the familiar street that would take us to the road of Gakuen Alice and just as I predicted we were standing in front of the school minutes later. The gate was locked and their was security everywhere, I saw security guards patrolling, each taking turns walking the perimeter of the school, which normally would've intimidated me even in my angel body but having Kitsuneme by me gave me an eerie sense of relief and protection.

Kitsuneme looked at me once and then flew over the gate and went straight towards a large building towards the left of the high school where classes were held. I didn't know where we were when Kitsuneme stopped and perched on top of a tree next to the building. We were parallel to a window and I could make out what was inside, I peeked in to see a large bed with blue covers, a white carpet, and a familiar lava lamp that I was sure I had seen somewhere before. I sat next to where Kitsuneme was standing at the corner of the thick branch and realized that we were in front of the boys' dorms remembering the building from when I dropped Natsume off. I waited for what seemed like hours unmoving; I hoped for the life of me that Natsume was sleeping, that he was far away from reality and dreaming of another place or a different world, and not planning the midnight escape that I was waiting for.

After what seemed like a million years, I finally turned to Kitsuneme and saw him watching the window like a statue, every muscle in his body seemed to be tense, his jaw was clenched and his eyes were fixed on the window in front of him. He was sure that Natsume would be coming. I looked back once and got up ready to drag Kitsuneme out of here if I had to. I was starting to feel like pervert standing in front of the boys' dorms.

But right when I got up and turned towards Kitsuneme, I heard a silent _thump_, almost like someone had jumped. I turned around only to come face to face with red eyes. He was a hairbreadth away; if I moved an inch closer our noses would touch. He didn't see me, he _couldn't_ see me, and that, to me, was the worst part.

I wonder back to that day sometimes, what would've happened if I had stopped him? If I had shown him that I was right here, that he shouldn't go, that I believed in him and he wasn't the person that he was being. If only I had told him I was watching and what he was doing or was about to do would break me apart.

Instead I just stood there, shocked. My heart was thumping loudly into my ears, I was afraid that Kitsuneme was able to hear it. Stop it, I told myself. I backed a step away to put distance between Natsume and me, but it was unnecessary because he had jumped down from the trees. He jumped from four stories. There wasn't even a sound as his feet hit the ground as sly and cautious as a black cat.

Kitsuneme looked at me and I snapped my gaze towards him from the ground where Natsume had landed perfectly. Good to know he was putting his training into action. Kitsuneme took my hand this time and followed Natsume, flying a few feet above the boy's head.

I didn't know if I should be scared or impressed by the sly way Natsume dodged the security around the school. When we reached the gate, I saw him walk backwards a few feet away from the gate. I had no idea what he was doing until he started running at full speed towards the gate and jumped over it landing soundlessly on the ground. His actions were so coordinated and smooth that I couldn't help being impressed even though what he was doing was completely stupid and very reckless.

We continued to tail him, flying right above him as he turned sharp corners and tip toed through alleys. I felt myself get more anxious with this troublesome boy's every step. He walked for a few more minutes until he finally came to a stop in a narrow alley at the side of some abandoned building. I watched horror struck as I spied men in the narrow pathway, I heard them talking before Natsume reached them in the middle of the alley.

"Where is he?!" Someone whispered sharply.

"He said he was on his way; calm down will you? We're fine, he'll be here soon, and you know he's not the kind to skip out." Someone with a scratchy voice replied.

There were a few more whispers that I didn't catch. I looked at Kitsuneme with fear evident in my eyes. I knew wherever this was going was bad. Nothing good lurked in dark corners and alleys.

Natsume walked towards them slowly, his face blank of any emotion. But when I looked closer at his features, I noticed something in his eyes. They were wild, ravenous; they didn't look like the eyes of a normal seventeen year old boy and they certainly were not the eyes of this boy that I thought I knew.

"Finally! Do you know how late you are?" A bald guy with sunglasses asked as he came into my view. Ok being bald and mean was one thing, but wearing sunglasses at night? This was a whole new level of evil. I was starting to think that bald guys' were out to get me.

"I got hung up doing something." Natsume replied nonchalantly and put his hands in his pockets as he kept walking ignoring the trio who were waiting for him.

"You know Kunouji doesn't like waiting." Someone from behind the bald guy said.

"Well I'm here now." And with that Natsume walked purposely towards the side of the long narrow pathway silencing everyone.

I followed him as he turned and pulled open a door in the side of the building using a key he fished out of his pocket. If it weren't for Kitsuneme's hold on me, I probably wouldn't have continued tailing this boy as I could guess what was probably coming next.

Natsume threw open the door and entered the building, the trio following behind him. They shut the door once they entered. I looked towards Kitsuneme and then the shut door. Kitsuneme simply dragged me in, floating through the metallic door.

I was appalled by what I saw. Sturdy, tattooed, missing limbs, it was like something right out of a movie. There were more bald heads, some Mohawks and some that had hair longer than mine; they had tattoos dominating every inch of their muscular arms and one I noticed had it on the side of his face. They were big, not the attractive muscular but the disgusting, scary buff kind. There was garbage everywhere, and there was a muggy smell in the room.

The room was small, it was dark and the only light that came was from a bulb at the front of the room. There were chairs everywhere where men sat unaligned; it seemed like a meeting of sorts.

I looked towards Kitsuneme to get some sort of explanation for all of this but he was looking at the guy with a tattoo on his face. I followed his gaze and heard him talk to Natsume.

"You're late." He simply greeted.

"I got caught up." Natsume answered and went to take a seat at the front where more chair were put unaligned.

"Did you bring a ride?" I realized that this tattoo face had an accent, but I couldn't place the country, it wasn't strong, just a few letters that were pronounced differently.

Natsume frowned when the question was asked and my heart started up again, working twice as fast as it already was. But my reaction was unneeded because tattoo face simply smiled and offered his own ride, to which Natsume nodded, his face revealing nothing.

"Alright then, it's settled. Does everybody know the plan?" Tattoo face asked. And in return he got a sea of nods from the room.

I watched as everybody evacuated the room, pushing and shoving to get out. Natsume and the guy with a Tattoo were the last to leave. They locked the building on their way out and Kitsuneme and I followed them flying above.

They all went to a park next, where I saw a line of motorcycles standing next to each other. It seemed like this was the ride Natsume and Tattoo Face were talking about, as they both went to sit on a shiny red bike away from the rest. Tattoo sat first to drive and Natsume sat behind him putting his arms around Tattoo's torso.

Something clicked in my brain, something that I knew of the minute I saw Natsume walking through that narrow pathway. Motorcycles, dark alleys, tattoos. This was a gang. This is a gang and Natsume is part of it. I felt my world break piece by piece but held it together by some glue of hope; I needed to know what Natsume's part in all this was.

Natsume and Tattoo face drove and sped through the road and the rest followed behind them. It was now clear who the leader was.

And as we had all night, we followed Natsume once more. I watched Natsume as he sat behind Tattoo face, his face emotionless but his eyes gave away his wildness. They were foreign, not the eyes of the boy I love. I had seen that look in them before, it was when we were little and his parents hit him. I was standing in the door way when it happened, I watched as they yelled at him for pushing someone in the playground. They didn't know that he did it because the boy he pushed was hurting me and stealing my toys. Natsume had done it for me and his parents didn't even give him a chance to say so, they were worried on how badly this would affect their reputation in society when people found out how wild and astray their son was. He was really hurt and I saw a scary look in his eyes as he left through the door passing by me. His parents were barely home and the rare chances that they were, they would be caching up on other work or planning their next move, not sparing a glance to their son.

I was a coward then, so instead of explaining Natsume's actions to his parents, I went home crying. I cried and told the story to my mother who went to explain it over when I continuously pestered her. She was disappointed in me for not explaining it myself but I was scared when I saw how they treated Natsume.

I did go out to find Natsume afterwards and brought him home. But then it was because of that event that our moms became close friends and his relationship with his parents improved so we put that behind us, but I never did forget the ravenous look he had in his eyes.

It was much worse now, it didn't seem like an apology from his dad or a hug from his mom would help him right now. Although I wonder where they were right now or if they knew that their son joined a gang.

Tattoo face drove through a small town and stopped inside, he got off his bike and Natsume followed. One by one all the members got off, stopping their motorcycle in a single file line on the road. I watched as Natsume took out a match stick and gave it to Tattoo face. He lighted the fire and threw it at the Ramen shop at the side of the road. The fire caught the cloth that was draped under the sign that said _Misa's Ramen Noodles_. The fire spread and extended to the wood which made a creaking sound as the fire burned it. Tattoo face grinned sickeningly and Natsume looked pleased. I was disgusted.

I looked at Kitsuneme but he was looking at Tattoo Face again. I took my hand away from his grip and fell to the ground without his hold keeping me afloat seven feet above ground. If I was alive I would've broken my feet. I ran to the shop to make sure their was no one inside.

I was about to go inside the ramen shop to stop the spreading fire when someone grabbed my arm, I turned to see angry green eyes.

"What are you doing?" Kitsuneme asked me, mad.

"I have to see if anyone is inside." I told him and slipped my arms from him.

"No, you don't." He said grabbing my arms again.

I looked at him irritably now, "Let go, I'm already dead, I won't die twice." I said through my teeth.

"I can feel it if there is a human soul inside." He told me as his hair started falling in his eyes.

I stopped resisting and turned to look at Natsume then. Did he know too? I watched as an old man came out of a house beside the shop. He looked at his shop and fell to his knees. A young boy who couldn't be past twelve and a middle age woman came in after him and gaped at the burning ramen shop.

The middle age woman went and knelt beside the old man while the boy clenched his jaw and looked towards the large number of men standing beside the burning shop.

"You!" He said looking at Natsume.

"Hello there. You must be little Youichi, I heard you caused some trouble for my member here." Tattoo face said in a sickeningly sweet voice.

"What did you…you..you burned the shop!?" Youichi ignored Tattoo face and talked to Natsume struggling for coherent words.

People started coming out of their houses seeing the commotion. I watched as they gasped in horror when they saw the burning shop.

I could tell this was what Tattoo face was waiting for. An audience. Youichi charged for Natsume his hand forming into a fist, my heart was throbbing for this little boy who was half of Natsume's size. Natsume dodged his punches and blocked his kicks. He threw a single punch to the side of his face and Youichi staggered back and fell.

He got back up and wiped his eyes before he charged again but this time Tattoo face took over kicking him right in the stomach. Others took over hurting the little boy and I spied tears coming out of the boy's eyes. He was trying to hold them back.

I watched as someone hit him with a wooden stick on the head, another punched him square in the jaw. I saw a knife before Kitsuneme came in front of me. I pushed him away aware that tears were running down my eyes. I watched as they brought the knife back aiming at the boy's shoulder. Kitsuneme put his hand over my eyes and wrapped his arms over my waist pressing my back to his chest. I didn't even hear a sound come out of the young boy's lips.

"Ok, Ok. Enough, we don't want murder on our hands," Tattoo face said and then I heard a whimper escape from the little boy's broken body. I struggled against Kitsuneme my tears coming down hard.

When he finally took his arms off me and released my eyes, I looked to see that the middle aged woman and old man had stood up and were watching with horror in their eyes. They were probably related to this recklessly courageous boy.

"But Boss, we didn't even break a rib." I saw a guy to Natsume's left say. And yes, he was bald. With sunglasses.

Natsume walked towards the boy who lay on the floor trying to get up using his scrawny arms. Natsume put one foot on top of the boy and I heard a sickening snap before Natsume lifted his foot and went back to his place next to Tattoo Face's side not sparing the boy another glance.

I watched as the little boy cried out in pain no longer able to hold it in with tears and blood streaming down his face. He didn't try to get up again.

Tattoo Face looked pleased and slapped Natsume lightly on the back. Oh how I would love to give him a slap on his retarded tattoo.

He looked up at his audience which had multiplied hearing the screams of the broken boy. He smiled at them.

"Let this be a lesson to all of you the next time you try doing anything against any of us." Tattoo Face said and went back to sit on his motorcycle.

Natsume followed and sat behind him while the others slowly dispersed and took a seat on their bikes. I watched as the middle aged woman and old man ran to the young boy crying and yelling for someone to call a police but everyone stayed frozen on their spot until the gangsters all zoomed out of view one by one following the man with the tattoo on the side of his face and a red eyed boy sitting behind him.

**(^)**

I didn't sleep that night, every time I closed my eyelids I saw Youichi's broken body laying on the floor bloodied. I didn't go back to Luna's body knowing I would have to sleep since the human body needed nourishment to function properly; I stayed in my own body all night reliving the screams and cries of the twelve year old boy I saw being tortured by full grown men.

When morning came I went into Luna's body and changed into the Alice Academy's uniform, I brushed my teeth and remembered to take extra care of Luna's hair this time as I recalled Sumire's comment of just how important Luna's hair was to her. I straightened it and put a butterfly clip to the side of her hair and made my way downstairs in a sort of daze. It was Thursday, which meant school, which meant Natsume, which meant gang, which meant broken boy, which meant…you get the idea. I ate French toast and drank orange juice to swallow it down. I didn't care if this girl had an eating disorder or not, I needed my nutrients if I was going to face Natsume.

I saw Kitsuneme in front of the school as I walked inside the gate with Sumire beside me. She was coming back today after finally catching up on her sleep and finishing all her assignments. She was giving me a weird look throughout breakfast and a little while ago when I had said goodbye to Garnet, the driver, whose name I found out when Sumire called him by it after breakfast to drop us off to school.

I told Sumire I'll be right in and she gave me yet another weird look before she let it go and walked to class. Kitsuneme had been looking at me with mixed emotions since he brought me back last night and I was really getting tired of it.

"Just say it." I told him.

"What?" He said looking away.

"Whatever it is you've wanted to say all night." I said exasperated.

The green eyed angel looked at me for a second and then turned his eyes to the floor, "I'm sorry; I should've just told you what he's been doing, it wasn't right to let you see that." He said looking at the floor. Was he feeling guilty for what Natsume did?

"Its fine, I wouldn't have believed you if you told me. I'm fine, don't worry about it." I said and made my way inside as he followed behind me. I stopped and turned around to face him again.

"Can I ask for a favor?" I asked him.

He smiled, "Anything."

"Do you think you could find me information on that guy with a tattoo on his face?" I asked him hoping it wasn't too much.

"Sure, I'll have it for you when you get back from school." And with that Kitsuneme flew off into the sky.

I walked inside feeling less confident without Kitsuneme beside me. I made contact with amethyst eyes again. Hotaru held my gaze and I stared back not knowing what else to do. She broke it off when the teacher entered and I made my way up to sit next to Natsume who, of course, was sleeping.

"Nonoko Ogasawara."

"Here."

"Luna Koizumi."

"Here," I answered.

"Natsume Hyuga."

No answer.

"Natsume Hyuga?" The teacher said looking to the person at my left.

I saw Ruka shake Natsume from the corner of my eye and watched as Natsume got up and raised his hand a little muttering a "here," and then putting his head back on his arms.

The teacher went on with the attendance not questioning Natsume's sleeping in his class. I was getting mad now; I looked to my left to see him sleeping soundlessly. Watching his sleeping face I could hardly tell that this was the same boy I saw last night. But it was him and I had no doubt that what I saw was real no matter how bizarre last night was.

I poked him. I poked his perfect mane of shiny black hair as hard as my index finger would let me. He stirred and turned his face to my side and cracked an eye open, he's eyebrows furrowed angrily and his lips were formed into an irritated line. When he saw me, he blinked and yawned.

"Oh, it's Cleopatra." He said getting up and stretching his arms above his head.

I was speechless as I watched him stretch and yawn sleepily, how could someone so innocent be so cruel and conniving? Was he suffering from double personality disorder?

I stared at him at a loss of words. How was I supposed to act again? How did I act before I found out what his nightly routines were?

"What? Already charmed by my good looks? Are we moving on from the friend stage then?" He said resting his chin on his hands, his head was faced towards the front of the classroom but he was looking at me from the corner of his eye. Irritatingly perverted boy was one thing but flirting or even talking a girl like that? Natsume's personality had taken a leap.

"Don't flatter yourself. You're not that good looking." I managed to answer back looking at the board. I couldn't let him see any difference in my behavior.

"Oh? So you weren't ogling?" He said raising his eyebrows.

"Who said I was looking at you? I was…admiring Ruka." I fumbled looking at his red eyes.

It was hard to concentrate when I looked at him; I was starting loose my train of thought when I gazed into his crimson eyes. _I am so pitiful_ I thought to myself and mentally shook my head.

"Well pity Ruka's not into blondes." I heard him say while I tried to look at everything but his eyes. What a nice color the walls were. I had never seen such a perfect shade of white.

"I'm not?" I heard Ruka say with a questionable tone and felt myself smile at the board.

"I never said I was interested, is it so wrong for a girl to simply admire good looks?" I asked looking at him resting his chin on his arms and his eyes fixed on the board. He was talking to me but I could tell that it was only because he found the conversation more interesting then whatever equation the teacher was writing on the board.

"No, you're allowed to admire my beautiful face all you want." I heard him reply.

I sighed loudly. There was no point arguing with him, he was as stubborn as a mule. I tried again to picture the boy I saw last night only to realize that he was becoming blurred and I was having a hard time believing that it really was Natsume I saw. Maybe it was his evil twin brother.

I heard a lazy yawn escape Natsume, "Why are you always sleepy? Do you not get enough sleep at night?" I asked him as subtly as I could.

He looked at me and then looked away quickly when I turned to meet his eyes. Why doesn't he ever look me straight in the eye?

"No, my nights are…busy, sleep doesn't come to me after passionate nights." He answered me looking at the board again with a smirk etched onto his perfect lips.

I stared at him, was he going to tell me the truth if I asked? "Busy with what?" I asked suspicion entering my voice.

"Why don't you come to my room tonight and I'll show you." He said smirking at the board. What? He was revealing he was part of a gang?

"You'll show me? Why can't you tell me?" I asked a bit confused turning my head to look at him.

He simply stared at me like I had grown another head.

"Fine. What time?" Was he really going to explain what I saw last night?

He raised an eyebrow at me and I looked to see Ruka blushing furiously and staring at me with his mouth agape.

What?

Natsume looked at me but didn't make eye contact. "I've been wondering for a while now Cleopatra, but could it be that you're a complete idiot?"

"I am not an idiot," I said defensively looking at him while he looked away from my gaze again. He turned his head to Ruka who was giving me a sheepish smile. They had always been like this, Natsume would say something sketchy and I would reply only for him and Ruka to laugh about it as though they were hiding some sort of secret. I hated it. And I still do.

I didn't have much time to ponder on it though, as the bell rang and they both left to their next class with me packing my textbook and notebooks in my bag. Before Ruka left he offered me to join him, Natsume, and a few friends for lunch to which I accepted happily at the same time Natsume declined readily. Ruka laughed an easy laugh and told me that he would come pick me up for lunch and exited the classroom after Natsume.

I smiled to myself as I made my way to English class. I had this class with Hotaru. I couldn't find the guts to sit next to her yesterday but I decided I would do it today. When I entered the classroom I was happy to see that she was sitting alone scribbling furiously on her notebook.

I walked stiffly to her chair and nervously sat down next to her. She had turned so much more beautiful in the span of a single year. Her hair was layered more and she had let her bangs grow longer to frame her face. She heard me sit next to her and turned her head to look at me. She looked me up and down as if she was analyzing one of her robots.

I smiled at her in the friendliest way I could without making it looked forced. "Hi, I'm M-Luna, Do you mind if I sit next to you?" I asked politely.

"Yes." And with that she turned back to her notebook.

Okay. So she wants me to move? I decided to pretend I didn't hear her talk and took my English notebook out of my bag grabbing a purple pen from my pouch. I felt her look at me and I turned. When our eyes met she pointed her thumb behind her where an empty desk sat. Way to be difficult Hotaru.

I shook my head not trusting myself to speak. She narrowed her eyes at me and I was scared she would pull out her baka gun. Hold your ground Mikan; she'll back off if you show your stubbornness.

I smiled again and turned to my notebook to doodle furiously and ignore her icy glares.

"Oi." I heard her say.

I thought of ignoring it but remembered she was armed with a lethal weapon so I turned to her reluctantly.

"Yes?" I smiled forcibly.

"Move." She pointed to the desk again. Why wasn't the teacher here yet?

"I don't want to." I said and gulped.

"I won't ask twice," she said dangerously.

"Can't we be friends?" Why was everyone being so difficult?

"I only make acquaintances. And they have to be something special." She said practically challenging me to deny her.

"I'm special." I said stupidly. She just stared at me. I didn't know what to do, she had always been the ice queen and not even I had completely melted her stone heart.

"I'm rich." I tried.

"So am I." She said back.

"I'm…pretty." Way to sound shallow.

"Are you saying I'm not?" She asked raising a delicate eyebrow.

"No! No! You're gorgeous." I exclaimed.

Should I just move? I really wanted to tell her it was me right now but she wouldn't believe me knowing how much of a realist this girl was.

"I'm really loyal…I'll always be there for you…or something…" I couldn't find anything to say anymore.

Her eyes flashed for a second and I thought I saw hurt in them before she masked it.

"You're saying you'll never leave me?" She asked her eyes hard.

"Uh, yeah?" It wasn't meant to come out as a question but I was confused by the sudden change in her.

"Then you're a liar. Because people always leave, there is no such thing as loyalty in this world." She said and turned her head towards the board pretending that I didn't exist. I took that as my cue to end the conversation, but I didn't move back a seat like she wanted me to.

I was wrong, I was dead wrong when I thought that everything was alright here. Natsume had become a gangster; he spent his nights torturing innocent people, while my best friend shut herself off from the world and refused to befriend anyone only because she was scared to loose someone again.

I put my head down willing the world to bring me back to life. There are so many powerful emotions that humans can feel, colorful, beautiful and some tragic. When you die, you loose that, you don't get to experience anger or sadness, jealousy and envy is lost to you so that all you do feel is contentment. I realized now that there was a feeling so strong that it can descend space and time even. It came to my dead heart and consumed my bodiless soul. Regret. Deep and powerful, it's shaking my very core. I regret leaving my life, I regret dieing, I regret not loving my friends enough, and I know that I will regret leaving this world a second time.

**A/N: Review?**


	8. Chapter 8: Issues

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice**

"_Slow Down."_

_Dark shadows. An Alley. _

_Run._

"_Come on Baby, we're not gonna hurt you."_

_Don't look back. Ignore them. _

"_Hey, slow down, we just wanna have fun."_

_Burning heart, aching lungs, sweaty palms._

_Never in my life did I wish to fly as much as I had then. They were catching up, my steps were slowing down. I need to get away._

_Find light, I told myself. Somewhere with people!_

_I ran and ran unable to feel the soles of my feet._

_I stumbled and fell, hitting my head on the concrete. I could feel darkness threatening to enclose me; it started seeping through the corners of my eyes._

I woke up with a start, my body was sweaty as my vision became white and bright lights popped behind my eyelids. I felt myself breathe hard as I looked to check the time. 5:47, the digital alarm read.

I fell back against the bed shivering with cold sweat now. I wrapped the covers more securely around me. My throat felt parch, I wanted water but it really wasn't worth it to go downstairs for just that.

I had been having the same dream for a week now. Some nights would reveal more than others. I would dream of alleys and darkness and then wake up horrified. Today's dream was by far the longest and scariest.

"Another one?" I turn to see Kitsuneme sitting on my window sill, his face glowing in the moonlight. He truly looked like an angel.

"Yeah," I say getting up.

The dream seemed familiar, it was like a locked up memory. I couldn't place it nor did I remember what happened afterwards. I did, however, have a pretty good guess of where it was from.

"Kitsuneme, do you remember how you died?" I asked hoping I wasn't being insensitive.

He looked surprised by my question but he straightened his features out, "Yes, it's the one memory I remember vividly from the time I was human."

I frown, "Why can't I remember? I remember everything and everyone, yet I can't recall my most important memory."

Kitsuneme looked thoughtful for a second, "I don't think it's a bad thing really. Sometimes we can't remember something because it's too painful. I think, and I could be wrong, but maybe you're hiding the memory yourself because it's not something you want to remember."

I grimaced in the darkness. At first I didn't care that I had forgotten, but now that I was being haunted by these dreams, I couldn't help but feel frustrated with the memory. I wanted to know what happened to me.

"You want to go back to sleep?" Kitsuneme asked from the window.

"No, I don't think I can anymore." I got up and went to the bathroom to wash my face. I dried my face and looked at the mirror. Luna's face had gotten fuller and her once hollow cheeks had gained a pink glow. This could be the result of my gluttony though. Although she looked healthier I did end up getting her dark circles below her eyes.

I hadn't been able to sleep since I spent most of the time tracking Natsume and the rest having nightmares.

There had been no progress with Natsume in the past week. I found out that he had these gang meetings twice a week, mostly Mondays and Thursdays. Most of the planning happened then, they were organized in there way of wrecking havoc around town. Disturbingly organized, might I add.

Kitsuneme later explained that it had taken them two weeks to plan the burning shop incident since they needed to find the right time and get the right back up to keep police and any security at bay.

The only development that occurred was during lunch when Ruka picked me up after class to join him and the gang. I took Sumire along when she offered to eat lunch with me.

It was a joyous event. If I closed my eyes and made myself forget that I was in Luna's body right now, I would feel alive again.

Hotaru, Ruka, Natsume, Koko, Anna, Nonoko, Mochu, and Sumire. They all sat under a Sakura tree passing food and laughing at something Koko said.

It was just like old times.

They had welcomed me warmly and even offered me food. I sat across from Natsume, he raised an eyebrow questioningly at me as I sat there nibbling on a carrot. I looked toward Hotaru who waspretending that I didn't exist and didn't just infiltrate her lunch time. Koko went off gossiping about something that Hatsune told him, who heard from Kakani, who found out from Nana, who was told by some girls.

I laughed and gasped in all the right places while I watched Hotaru and Natsume from the corners of my eyes. Natsume was eating an apple and had a water bottle next to him while Hotaru ate a tiny salad. _That couldn't be enough to last a whole day._ I looked at the place between Natsume and Hotaru where a tree branch sat. That was supposed to be my spot. I joined in with the jokes remembering some that Matrimony told me. Koko laughed in delight and slapped my back even offering to drop me off to my next class. I had forgotten how easy it was to talk to him.

I changed into a white tank top and put on dark sweats as I headed downstairs to grab a drink of water. I had two hours to spare and nothing to do.

I looked into the fridge for a snack when an idea occurred to me.

"Kitsuneme, how well can you cook a French cuisine?" I asked the angel who was juggling oranges in his hands.

He looked at me questionably and I smiled evilly.

(^-^)

It turned out Kitsuneme was a gifted chef. When I asked how he knew so much he told me that he lived with the guys from the security department in the castle and he was the only one who knew how to cook.

I was glad for his skills and used him to my advantage, not feeling the least bit sorry as I watched him cut a tomato fluidly.

Hotaru loved France. For as long as I can remember her dream has been to go to Collège des Sciences et de la Technologie. It was one of the most prestigious technical colleges in the world. She had gone to Paris a few years ago and eaten the cuisine there, she told me it was one of the best foods she had eaten, and I, in order to make her happy, had tried to make it for her but failed miserably.

Call it a bribe or call me desperate but I needed Hotaru to talk to me, and I needed to get that sad look away from her stoic face. It was making me crazy.

We finished just in time for Sumire to come down in her uniform and sniff the air happily.

"Something smells really good. What is it?" She asked looking at me.

"You'll find out in lunch." I told her as I wrapped the dishes in cloth tying a knot three times to secure it.

She gave me an appraising look when she saw me wrapping the food, "You know it's like you're a different person, Luna."

I stopped what I was doing and looked at her. "I thought change would be nice." I said. I regretted choosing Luna's body only because I would have to look Sumire's face everyday and lie to it. And I hated that.

"Well it is. Its just that I…I don't know. You're so cheerful and happy lately, you've even started to be nice to mom and me, especially me. I just don't know what to make out of it, I guess." I watched her struggle for words.

"I just…I really want to be friends with you." _Just like old times, Sumire._

She looked at me with a mixture of confusion and happiness, "Are you sure you didn't hit your head when you fell?" She asked.

I didn't know if she was being serious or was joking. I laughed not knowing what else to do.

She smiled. "Well, I've always wanted to be friends with you, and I'm glad you want to too, even though it seem like you're out of your mind."

_You have no idea._ "Great, then help me put this in the car."

She smiled and took the bento.

I changed into the uniform and this time decided to curl Luna's wavy hair putting it into an elegant half up do. I concealed the dark circles under my eyes and grabbed the book bag making my way down stairs.

I had time to slowly eat my breakfast thanks to my early wake up call. I slowly chewed on my cereal trying to look as dignified as possible in front of the father and stepmother.

"Remember you have an appointment with your physician at four today so come back right after school." The evil stepmother told me and I nodded smiling, to which she blinked back.

"Dad, will you be taking me?" I asked.

"Yes, I'll pick you up from school." He said looking at me.

I finished my cereal and grabbed my book bag. I waved goodbye and rushed to the car.

"Sorry Garnet, am I late?" I said as soon as I entered the car.

"No, it's quite alright. I think it's the earliest yet in fact," he smiled at me through the mirror and sped up.

I put my head against the window watching the scenery blur by. Garnet drove fast for an old guy. He parked in front of the school and Sumire and I got out. I ran to class as the five minute warning bell rang through the school.

I hid the bento in my bag as I entered first period just in time for roll call. Today was Tuesday, which means Natsume got enough sleep. At least I wouldn't have to deal with his grouchy mood for the day, although he would be off doing satanic worshipping tonight. I went and sat in my assigned seat next to him. He was reading his manga, his eyes looking over every detail of the page.

I leaned close to his ear and yelled, "HI NATSUME!" Immediately the manga fell from his hands. He turned and glared at me.

"You know, one of these days, I will strangle you." He said picking up his manga.

"That still won't shut me up." I said as I waved a hello with my hand to Ruka who waved back, amused.

"Then I'll extract your voice box." He said opening the manga and trying to find his place in it.

"And I'll scream the whole while you do it."

"If it makes you permanently quiet, I will gladly bear with it."

I frowned. "Heaven will cry loosing an angelic voice like mine."

He ignored me then. I narrowed my eyes willing him to talk with my mind.

No response. I sighed and turned my attention to the front of the room.

Two minutes later~

Poke. Poke. Poke.

Vein Pops. More poking.

"What?!"

"How do you graph 2y-5x=18?"

"You change it to slope-intercept form first, idiot."

"What's that?"

"Make it y equals."

"How do you do that?"

He leaned over my side of the table making my heart race, "Like this…"

I looked at what he had done with the confusing equation, "OOOHHH! Now what?"

I cringe as Natsume bangs his head on the table.

"Just put me out of my misery, Cleopatra." I hear him say with his head on the table.

I grin, "And what fun would that be?" Times like these made me forget that I was currently in someone else's body. It was so easy to be myself with Natsume.

He looks up at me and is about to reply when suddenly fire alarms go off. They make a deafening sound throughout the school and paralyze every student to their seat.

Is it a drill or an actual fire?

"Everyone remain calm and exit through the emergency door in an orderly fashion." The teacher says and starts directing students out of the classroom.

I walk out the door with Natsume and Ruka behind me. We exit through the emergency doors on the left of the classroom with the class. When we get out I look back at the school, I see smoke coming out of the left wing which belongs to the science department.

Something probably went wrong in a lab or experiment. I look to see that the whole school evacuated outside. I look through the sea of faces trying to find someone familiar.

I see the gang to the far end, but I can't see Hotaru. Natsume walks up to them with me and Ruka following behind him.

"Where's Imai?" He asks right away.

It's Anna who replies, her forehead creased "She has Chemistry first period. I don't think she evacuated."

Natsume curses under his breath and rushes to the nearest door, dodging teachers on his way. I run behind him as two teachers try to stop him trying to tell him how dangerous it is inside.

He enters the building and runs to the science department.

"Natsume wait!" I yell from behind him trying to catch up.

He pays me no heed and continues running leaving me to run and catch my breath at the same time. He turns left to a hallway filled with smoke. I inhale and start coughing.

I take off my uniform blazer and cover my mouth with it following Natsume into the smoky haze. I can't see anything as my eyes start to water but I continue walking. I hear a small scream and follow the sound turning left and entering a classroom.

There's fire licking the floor, it's spreading from chair to chair and in the midst of it I see Hotaru trying to run while fanning the fire with her sweater. Her leg is bleeding and she had a bruise on the side of her forehead. Natsume hurries into the room and runs past me.

He runs to Hotaru and puts his sweater over her, shielding her from the flames as he carries her out of the room. I run after him as he makes his way out of the classroom and back into the smoky haze.

Theirs fire in the hallway now as we run. The fire spreads through the wooden door in front of us and blocks our escape. We run the other way trying to find another exit.

"Let go. I can walk." I hear Hotaru say as we frantically run.

"Shut up and cover your mouth." Natsume replies to her.

"I said let go." She says stubbornly.

"Will you be quiet? I'm trying to get us out of here." I can tell Natsume is running out of breath, theirs nothing covering his face, he's inhaled too much smoke.

Hotaru shuts up and we continue running. How long is this hallway? The ceiling starts creaking.

"Natsume, watch out!" I yell.

But it's too late because the flames from the cloth draped on the door fall on Natsume as he only has a second to shield Hotaru and take the damage alone.

I watch as his shirt catches fire and burns his back. Hotaru screams and Natsume puts her on the ground and rips off his shirt. He has red marks covering his back along with bruises and scars.

I mutely hand him my blazer but he shakes his head, refusing to take it. Hotaru gives back his sweater and he refuses that too, walking ahead and still looking for a way out.

"Take this before I break your skull, Hyuga." Hotaru throws the sweater and it falls on his head. He looks back at her and then wordlessly puts it on. I offer her mine but she ignores me and walks behind Natsume.

The door to the end of the hallway is burning. Natsume gives it a hard kick and it breaks down. I hear a noise behind us and watch as the ceiling starts to break down, the pillar on the left gives out and the roof starts falling down. I look at Natsume in fear.

I hear a low oath but I don't know if it was Hotaru or Natsume that said it.

"Hurry up!" Natsume yells at me and I run out the door after Hotaru with Natsume hot on my heels.

We run for the exit as all around us the roof starts breaking. It takes me a minute to realize that Natsume isn't behind me anymore. I reach the exit and turn to look for him. Oh God. Where is he? Hotaru realizes this too because she starts walking away from the exit.

But I can't have her in here anymore with that damaged leg. "Hotaru get out of here," I tell her as I grab her arm. She shakes it off and continues walking faster now.

I grab her arm and start dragging her. She's only going to hurt herself more and we'll be back to square one. She struggles against me, "Let go, Let go of me!" She breaks free and I grab her again pulling her by the arm.

"Can't you hear me!? I said let go! He's still in there!" She says almost hysteric now. I look back to see unshed tears in her eyes. This stubborn girl.

"I know. I'll go back for him." I say softly and start dragging her again. I hear her protests; at this rate we'll never reach the exit.

"Stupid Hotaru. You're supposed to be the calm one." I say and punch her. She reels back and falls unconscious. I drag her out the door where I see teachers and students standing.

"There you are! Oh my, what happened?" Some teacher I don't recognize says to me.

"Take care of her Sensei." I hand Hotaru's unconscious body to her and run back inside, ignoring the protests and cries from behind me.

I run inside covering my mouth again. It's been a few minutes and Natsume does not have anything to cover himself from inhaling the smoke. I run to the door that we enter from but I can't see him. My eyes start watering from the smoke as I run from door to door looking for the red-eyed boy.

I spot him in the corner of the hallway sitting against the wall. His head is against the wall and his legs are spread out in front of him. He seems to be breathing hard.

I look around to see nothing but smoke with no trace of fire in the area. I run up to him and kneel beside him once I reach him.

"Natsume! Hey, Hey!" I shake him. His eyes are closed and it looks like he's inhaled too much smoke.

"Natsume! NATSUME! Wake up! You can't die on me now!" I start slapping him hysterically. This is it. This is the end. I wasn't fast enough, I didn't pay attention. And now he's dead, not even less than two weeks in the hundred day mark.

I started crying, slapping him harder, pushing him, and kicking him. Wake up idiot! Wake up. I can't loose you yet. Not to fate, not to destiny. Please.

I watch through my blurred vision as he lets out a breath and says something.

"Mikan." He whispers.

I freeze. How long has it been since I've heard the sound of my name come from him? I stop hitting, wiping my tears, I try talking to him.

"Yes. I'm right here." I whisper. I watch as he cracks an eye open and then the other. I watch him smirk with effort.

"Does this mean I'm in heaven?" He breathes.

I watch stupefied, did he want to die? Did he want to leave this world that badly? My eyebrows furrow and I feel the familiar frustration and betrayal come at me full force as I watch him smile more peacefully than I've seen him since the moment I came to save him on this damned planet.

I felt like a complete idiot. Here I was trying to save this boy that I loved more than anything and he was ready to throw away everything and die.

In a way it was like I was keeping him away from what he's wanted all this time.

I slap him across his face. Hard. My tears come back with renewed vigor and I see him open both of his eyes looking at me and then turning his head around as though he's searching for something.

"Cleopatra? Did you…? Wait, where's Mikan?" He says looking around.

I look at him bitterly, "You know, loving someone is noble but loving the memory of a dead person is just creepy and sad."

He snaps his gaze at me and I see the familiar lines of anger in them, "What are you talking about? People like you need to know when to mind their own business."

_Like I haven't heard those words before._ "I'm not the one who's about to die in a freakin fire while muttering my dead girlfriend's name."

He grabs my arm and puts a strong grip on it. I feel the formation of a bruise as he pulls me by it so that I'm on my knees and at eye level with him.

"I decide what I want to do with myself. Whether I want to stay alive or if I want my body to burn to ashes, it's my wish alone. And you get no say in that." He says and lets go of my arm.

I glare at him. I really feel like beating him to a bloody pulp right now, but I ignore the feeling and instead pull him by his arms. He looks at me with disbelief but I ignore it and instead concentrate on pulling him to his feet.

"Let go," He says dangerously.

"Not until you get up," I gasp and continue pulling.

I don't give up and he sees my stubbornness because he finally gets up to his feet and I let go my hold of him and instead grab his right hand.

I start leading him to the exit. I get a few steps before he wriggles out of my hold. This idiot has already inhaled so much smoke I don't understand how he's still standing. I grab his hand again and he pulls it off again.

I sigh and grab again this time dragging him by the wrist and ignoring the pain it's causing my arm as he tries to take my elbow out of my socket.

"You're the biggest moron on the face of this planet." I say as I drag him.

"Then let's do the earth a favor and let me wipe my existence from it," I hear him say from behind me. I ignore the sharp needles that pierce my heart from his comment.

"Mikan Sakura right?" I ask, feeling a bit weird saying my name.

He doesn't say anything and I continue, "You met her at age seven and she left you at age sixteen. You started dating when you were fifteen after she confessed to you."

He still doesn't speak a word and I continue talking, "You had a good run and fell in love. But then she died at sixteen leaving you alone."

I wait a heartbeat and finally hear him talk as I turn the corner getting closer to the exit. He stops struggling and I hear him say, "So what?"

I turn around as we enter the room with the exit door. I face him, "So now you're bitter and depressed." I say.

"I'm not emo if that's what your thinking, idiot girl."

"If not, then how do you explain your stunt earlier?" I ask looking him straight in the eye.

After a while he holds my gaze, "I was tired. I couldn't move so I decided to see what would happen if I asked God to take me to her." He says honestly.

"So you're tired of living?" I ask this idiot.

"Pretty Much." He says staring deep into my eyes.

I laugh. It's bitter and short and so void of emotion that it almost sounds evil, "Yeah. You're the exact definition of emo." I look at him seriously now, "She'll hate you for this."

"What are you talking about?" He furrows his eyebrows.

"Your idiocy. Your retarded head that's keeping her from existing in peace. You are so full of it!" I finally burst. "When she was alive you couldn't cherish her enough and now in death you're giving her misery. Do you think she's happy? Do you think she's jumping in joy watching you throw your life away? Don't you think that maybe even now she's crying because of you? She cries every night and prays everyday for you to lead a happy life, for you to live a long life. But what do you do? You throw it in her face! You throw your life away and run to death!" I gasp out of breath. I can feel the fire entering the room as I hear it lick the wooden floor and the familiar smell of burnt wood comes to me.

Natsume looks angrier than I've ever seen him. He's features go from angry to shock and to angry again. "You…what are you talking…" He doesn't seem capable of finishing the sentence.

I sigh and start dragging him. "Please. Please, don't throw away your life. I told you I was Cleopatra right? I was brought back to life by her so that I could tell you." I tell him. I feel him stiffen behind me.

We walk outside where teachers and now firemen have gathered they run to us when they spot us.

I turn and face Natsume one more time. He looks at me with new emotions, a little bit of recognition, some amazement but more than that, he looks at me like he did before. When I was alive. "Ridiculous girl," he says and then tries to walk away but I stop him before he takes a step.

"I'm serious. Throwing your life away isn't fair to only you; it's also injustice towards her. If it's so hard to find a reason to continue living, then start living for her." I look at him with tears still in my eyes.

His eyes soften; he turns his smoldering gaze at me, and just as countless other times my thoughts escaped me when he did that, they do it again and I loose my train of thought.

"Live for her?" It was a question directed to himself that he spoke out loud.

I smile and turn away wiping my eyes as I go to look for Hotaru. I watch as gurneys are brought out and several students and teachers are put on them. I look to find amethyst eyes among the stares I get while walking away from Natsume.

I spot her arguing with a paramedic who clearly wants her to get on the gurney but she keeps refusing. She looks annoyed and her cheeks are flushed, probably from the heat of the fire.

I run up to her, "Hotaru!" I yell. She turns her icy glare at me. Uh-oh. I have five seconds to react as I see her pull out the familiar silver gun from her side. She shoots and I comically land upside my head.

I feel like laughing. She's alive, I'm okay and Natsume's still breathing. I smile at her and this time dodge the second bullet that was aimed at my rib cage.

I run up to her and wrap my arms around her slender frame, burying my head in her thick hair. She wriggles and tries to get out of my grasp but I just tighten my hold on her.

"Get off, baka," she utters and again the desire to laugh comes again. I had thought that I've heard that too many times in my lifetime but I was wrong. This was my Hotaru and she was talking to me just like she used to.

"Hotaru! Luna! You guys are okay!" I let go of Hotaru as Anna and Nonoko come up to us, with Koko and the others a few steps behind them.

"They want us to evacuate out of school grounds." Inchou comes up beside Nonoko.

"Where do we go? I don't have a ride until school ends." Mochu mutters.

Suddenly I remember the bento still in the classroom. "How about a picnic?" I ask the group as Natsume makes his way towards us.

They all look at me with question marks hanging above their heads.

(^-^)

Fifteen minutes of arguing pf where to sit and who should come, and then we find ourselves sitting on the grass by the playground beside my old house.

Natsume and Ruka had both left since they lived in the dorms. I had said bye to Natsume and to my surprise he had smiled, or well smirked. It's not possible for that boy to smile.

"What's that?" Koko asks eyeing the blue wrapped bento beside me.

"This, my friend, is a bento." I say grabbing the box and unwrapping it.

I had begged a fireman to let me go back to the classroom so I could get the bento. I had told him there was something very important in my bag, but that didn't work so I decided to threaten him using the Koizumi name. It was a complete bluff, but to my surprise he didn't question further and took me inside the building to retrieve my bento. I didn't need him to come with me, the science building was on the opposite side of where I had class but I didn't argue further. I successfully got the bento and although it seemed like he wanted to say something about coming back into the classroom for a simple bento, he bit his tongue. Makes you wonder exactly what the heck the Koizumi's are.

I took out the plastic ware and handed it to everyone. I looked at Hotaru but she was looking away with an evident crease on her forehead. I took out the cuisine and the different juices that I had packed. There was a gasp, but I was looking at Hotaru, gauging for her reaction.

"Hotaru look!" I think it was Anna that yelled, but it could also be Nonoko.

She turned her head like a robot, like she was forced to do so. When she saw the foreign dish in front of her, her eyes narrowed and she snapped her gaze at me. I smiled, a bit put off by the weird reaction she gave me.

"Do you want some?" I asked her cheerfully.

"I'm good." She replies and gets up. I watch as she walks away from the group and makes her way to the playground. Well, I can't say that her reaction was unexpected. Still, she could have at least tried some.

"Mmm! This is good!" I watch to see Koko and Mochu both stuff their mouth with the food.

"Don't worry about her Luna, she's always been this way." Koko said to me. I smiled at him but got up to join Hotaru who had perched herself on a swing.

"I'll be right back, enjoy the food guys." And with that I left them and ran to sit on the swing next to Hotaru.

When she saw me approaching she started getting off. I ran like a mad woman and took hold of the chains holding the swing, locking Hotaru so that she had no escape.

But the infuriatingly stoic girl simply stared at me, "What do you want now?"

"Sit." I commanded and stood there for another second making sure she wouldn't move.

When she didn't, I moved out of her way and sat on the swing next to her. I didn't know what to say to her so I just sat there.

"Now what?" she asked me after a few stifling moments.

"Now we swing." I told her and gave a little push with my legs to emphasize.

I watched as she gave a hard push and swung back and forth. She stopped the swing in mid flight and started getting up.

I was about to say something, but then she looked at me and said, "done." Ugh, insufferable woman.

I caught her arm as she was about to leave. She wrangled her arm out of my grasp, "What is wrong with you, why won't you leave me alone?" she gave me a hard, cold glare.

I felt my heart drop, "I'm trying to be friends…" I say loosing my voice.

"And I already told you that I wasn't interested." She said to me.

"You said you acquaint yourself with those who are special." I remind her.

"We've been through just how special you are." She rebutted.

"I just became someone very special."

"Oh really? Let's hear it then. How are you worthy?"

"I'm the reason you're standing and breathing right now." I remind her.

Hotaru looked like she was at a loss for words. I smirked inwardly knowing that I had won. She looked at me like she wanted to kill me, then swiftly turned around and started walking away from me.

"Wait! What the heck, Hotaru?" I call after her.

She snaps her head at me, "Don't call me so informally!"

I grab her arm. I have had enough, first my boyfriend becomes suicidal, and now my best friend gets people issues. Can't a dead girl get some peace around here?

"Stop! It's me. It's me Hotaru, Mikan." I tell her. She reels back and I see her form go rigid and her arm turn stiff in my hand.

**A/N: Phew! These chapters just keep getting longer. But this was a nice get away from all the senior application crap. Why are colleges so demanding? Well whatever. Review anyone?**


	9. Chapter 9: Best Friends

**Disclaimer: **

**Me: Yes, Yes! YES! Listen up world, I own GAKUEN AL-*Sam hits me on the head with a tree branch***

**I fall to the floor as Sam puts her foot on my head and addresses to the readers, "The idiot is disillusioned and lies, all rights belong to Tachibana Sensei, this loser owns nothing but another beating to the head," Sam grins at me like a maniac with her eyes sparkling.**

**I gulp.**

**~(0)(0)~**

"_Stop! It's me. It's me Hotaru, Mikan." I tell her. She reels back and I see her form go rigid and her arm turn stiff in my hand. _

Have you ever heard the sound of the wind blowing? The sound of leaves rustling? Or how about the sound of the millions of cicadas chirping? You hear it all the time, the sounds have always been there, but you get so accustomed to them that you no longer pay attention to them.

But try putting yourself in an oppressive silence and you'll realize just what you've been missing all this time. Makes you wonder if the earth ever really has peace and silence.

I start a mental countdown. Ten, nine, eight…

Ok, maybe that wasn't the right way to tell someone that your best friend has come alive and crept into the body of a comatose patient. Seven, six, five…

But then there really is no better way to approach the subject. Four, three, two…

Silence just may be the loudest sound in the world. And now I'm not even making any sense. One, zero…

"Right."

I snap my eyes to her, what? 'right?' what does that mean?

She agrees? Well that was easy, I should've just told her earlier. "Yeah, I wanted to tell you earlier-"

"And I'm actually the lost soul of Ghandi." She cuts me off. I see her fold her arms and narrow her eyes at me.

"What? No no. Hotaru, I'm serious." Of course she wouldn't believe me. Stupid Mikan, why'd you even try?

"Look, I may seem like I don't care and have an aloof face but that doesn't mean that you can throw crap at me and expect me to ignore it. I still have a heart, and who you just brought up is someone I really loved. I'd appreciate it if you would shut up and mind your own business, if not; realize that I can make your life very miserable." It was the most she had said to me since I tried to befriend her, but her words just made me want to cry and shake her shoulders until her head bobbed.

She started walking away, "Stop walking so fast, you leg's injured Baka!" I yell after her retreating figure.

Great, I'm being ignored, should I just blurt out her secrets? I'm not a really good friend…"You love eating crabs!" I yelled desperately.

"Anyone with eyes can tell." She continues walking briskly.

"You cried every night for a month after I died," she doesn't stop but her pace tones down.

"You've had a crush on Ruka since fifth grade!" That makes her stop. She turns ever so slowly and her face looks murderous.

I walk up to her ignoring the daggers she's throwing at me with her eyes. "You're Hotaru Imai, you live in this neighborhood and you were my neighbor. We played in this park before you transferred to Alice Academy and I followed you there. I made you promise you wouldn't forget me when you were transferring schools."

If Hotaru has ever really wanted to burn me to ashes with her eyes, then that would be now. "This is your last warning. That information is worth nothing. I know the power and resources that the Koizumi posses may even rival those of mine. All this proves is that you researched me thoroughly." Anger laces into the stoic girl's monotone voice.

"Hotaru," It was only a whisper and my voice cracks at the end. There's nothing more I can say, there are no words that will change her mind now. I should've known if there's one person more stubborn that Natsume, it's Hotaru, once she makes up her mind, she'll never change it.

"You've made your stalker ways very clear. If you have anything more to say to me, I'll see you in court." She turns around, but not before I see her eyes sparkle with the familiar glint of tears.

Guilt gnaws at me as I make my way back to the picnic spot. Hotaru leaves in a car I didn't even see until she was off the road and the silver car comes zooming in.

"Hey, what was that about?" Mochu asks, taking a bite out of the turkey sandwhich I packed for anyone who doesn't like the cuisine.

"She…she's being difficult," I answer lamely, I don't want to lie, and that is the truth. Besides Natsume says I'm a horrible liar and as transparent as glass when I talk. You can imagine how shocked he was when I tried holding a surprised birthday party for his thirteenth birthday. Not at all, he figured it out the moment the thought came to my mind, I had to beg him to act surprised. I was amazed he actually listened.

"Well now there's a surprise," Koko snorts.

I reach for a juice box, "Here," Anna hands me one. I smile thanks in response.

"Are you okay now?" Nonoko asks from beside Anna. She's eating the cuisine and sitting cross legged in the grass.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I take a bite out of the sandwhich. Wow Kitsuneme is amazing, it's probably the best sandwhich I've tasted in my life…no, that doesn't sound right…existence, yes in all of my existence it is the best sandwhich I have tasted.

"So do you guys think there'll be school tomorrow?" Koko asks leaning back on his elbows.

"Why would they cancel school?" I ask.

"Because of the fire," Mochu says stretching his body in the sun.

"They're not going to cancel classes just because a fraction of the school was damaged." Anna mutters taking a sip from her juice.

"Yeah, no way, they're that kind," Sumire says with a yawn.

I stare at them, their relaxed faces turned to the sun, Sumire looked more at peace then I'd seen her look at home or in class.

"So," Koko drawls looking at me with a strange spark in his eyes which I know from experience can't be good, "Are the rumors true?" He asks.

Anna and Nonoko throw glares at him while Mochu punches his arm hard, I hear Sumire hiss at him as I ask, "What rumors?"

"Koko shut your mouth," I hear Sumire say in a dangerous voice; I look at her, perplexed.

Koko ignores her and addresses me, "you know, about you jumping from that window…" he winces at the end probably wanting to word it in a different way.

"Oh," Well that wasn't so bad, although I don't feel right answering since its Luna's story and well her…solution to her problems.

"Never mind, you don't have to answer, it's just that the rumors are getting wilder and I started getting annoyed so I wanted to stop them and maybe spread the true story…" Koko looked lost again, while the rest of the group looked like they wanted to murder him.

I can understand, this is probably the awkward subject and so far, my relationship with everyone had been good, or as good as a stranger who eats lunch with them can get.

And again I wished to tell them that I wasn't Luna Koizumi, so I didn't know what she was thinking jumping from a building. I wanted to tell them to not feel awkward or strained because it was me, Mikan. The girl they knew since elementary school and middle school…but I had seen how well that had gone with Hotaru and I really don't want to have to repeat that. No one believes in fallen angels or guardian angels anymore.

"You don't have to answer this idiot's question, Luna." Nonoko says throwing her leftover scraps at Koko's head.

"Hey! I know you guys are all wondering about it, I'm the only one who has the nerve to actually ask." Koko says brushing Nonoko's garbage away.

The air around me gets tenser; Koko's digging himself a grave.

"Well, actually at the time I was sleepwalking." I say the first words that pop into my head.

"What?" Sumire says. Of course she knows that Luna's suicidal but there's no way I'm telling Koko that.

"Yeah, I was dreaming that I was flying and suddenly I felt like I was falling from a building." Wow, that has got to be the worst excuse in the world.

"Oh! I know what you mean; I have dreams that I'm falling from high places all the time except for me when I wake up I'm still in bed." Mochu says.

What?

"Oh, so that's what happened." Koko says with understanding in his grim expression.

I repeat, what?

I nod my head anyway and with that the topic gets closed. That went way too smoothly, it's probably one of those things that come and bite you in the butt later. Oh well, I guess I'll just worry about it when it comes to bite then.

**~(0)(0)~**

The next day at school is uneventful. I eat lunch with the gang except that Hotaru leaves the minute I sit down and everyone ignores this action making me feel ten times worse. Now I've taken her lunch spot too.

I try talking to her in English but she pretends as though I don't exist, for the first time, I find myself wanting her to hit me with her baka gun, at least then she would be doing _something_ to me.

So I trudge my way to last period. As soon as I get there I slump in my seat and put my head in my arms.

"Oi."

Go away.

I want to say the words but I'm too tired and burnt of rejection to even try.

"Oi baka."

Ok Karma, I get it, its annoying when I talk to him like this.

"Earth to ugly." I hear the annoying idiot say, and I have a sudden urge to slap him across his pretty face.

_Thunk!_ A crumpled peace of paper hits my head and falls to the ground. I look up at Natsume taking in the irony.

"Seriously?" I ask, and I'm rewarded with an arrogant smirk.

I pick up the piece of paper and unfold it.

_Don't go around stealing my look, being broody doesn't suit you._

I read the note and grin. Leave it to him to make my problems somehow related to him.

_Yeah well, sometimes you just get tired of being happy all the time._

He takes a long time to respond.

_What happened?_

Well that was unexpected; I would've thought he would run around in circles a little while longer before asking me.

_My friend is mad at me._ I realize I sound like a first grader but at this point I could care less.

_Since when were you friends with Imai?_

Ah, so he isn't as aloof as he looks. _For a long time now, but she doesn't remember me._

_What is this, a one-sided love?_

I stifle a smile, _It's two sided but the other person doesn't remember._

_Then just make her remember._

I scrunch my eyebrows, _How?_

_You said you were friends right? Someone once told me that you can't ever forget or break a friendship fully._

I smile as I remember how I told him that when I was trying to befriend him when we were kids. My heart warms up at his words, I can't believe he remembers.

_Its good advice,_ I write back.

_Yeah, too bad it was from an idiot._

The imaginary vein in my forehead pops but I try to keep control, and to think I expected something from this self-absorbed jerk!

I run as soon as the bell rings, I have to find Hotaru. Natsume (for once and probably the last time in his lifetime) is right, she was my friend, my _best_ friend, she has to believe me.

I find her sitting by the water fountain scribbling furiously in her notebook, her face in a tight grimace.

I sneak up behind her and to my surprise she doesn't notice. She must really be concentrating on whatever she's doing.

I look up at her notebook from behind and watch as she makes designs for what looks like an atomic bomb but will probably turn out to be some fancy pencil sharpener.

She can't get a convenient form, I notice. Hotaru's an inventor and anything that she builds is to make life easier but she can't get a good grasp on the handle and the switch button for whatever machine it is that she is making.

I've noticed her struggle with projects many times; she doesn't sleep or eat until she's done.

The problems seems simple this time though, if she puts the switch next to the handle compartment so that the person can turn the machine on with their finger once they get a hold of the handle with their hand, won't everything be fine?

Too immersed in Hotaru's work, I point to the picture without thinking about it and say, "draw it there."

I can tell I've caught her off guard but she doesn't make a move except for the slight tension in her shoulders. She does as I say and the machine is complete.

"That wasn't so hard; I'm surprised the genius inventor had a problem with something so simple." I say lightly with a smile.

Hotaru doesn't respond and instead gathers her things with blinding speed. I catch her wrist before she runs out on me again.

"Wait, please Hotaru. Can't we talk?" I beg her.

"Don't address me so informally, and besides I have nothing to say to you." She says in her icy voice. Her cold demeanor is breaking my resolve but I square my shoulders and try again.

"But I have something to say to you, and you owe it to me to listen." I say.

"Owe you? What do I owe you?" She spits out.

"Your life, I ran into that burning building for you."

"I don't remember asking you to that; you did that out of your own free will."

I'm at a lost for words, I should've known I can't beat this girl with words.

"Then how about this, you give me one hour of your time, and I promise that if you aren't convinced I won't ever look your way."

Yes Mikan, yes, bargain, it's the only thing that gets to Hotaru.

"How about you stop coming to eat lunch by my friends too." She says.

Of course she would turn it to her advantage, "fine," I say anyway.

"And NEVER tell ANYONE about what you know about me." I could tell this was what was bothering her. So she doesn't want anyone to know about her little crush on Ruka.

I sigh, "Ok Ok, now can we go, I only have an hour, or do you want to sign a blood contract?" I say and start dragging her.

"Don't tempt me Koizumi, and release my hand, I'm perfectly capable of walking by myself." She says taking her slim hand out of my grasp.

I ignore her glare at the back of my head as I think. How do I make her believe me? Ok, first thing, I need to get out of the public eye as shady as that sounds.

I ignore Hotaru's protests as I grab the stoic girl's hand a second time and make a beeline for the playground we had the picnic in yesterday.

I gasp for air as we finally reach the swings. I sit down on the dark blue swing and motion for Hotaru to do the same.

She makes a face and then takes out some kind of sanitizer which she sprays all over the swing. I try not to laugh remembering our situation but it's hard with Hotaru acting so…Hotaru.

I get straight to the point, "Ok, to begin with, I'll tell you that I am an angel in training in heaven right now but humans can't see us so I had to take a mortal body."

I watch Hotaru's expression remain stoic as I tell her this, right. Ok, moving on. "I had to come back due to certain circumstances but I will be going back in less than 100 days." I realize I sound completely absurd. But I get no response from the girl next to me.

After what seems like a lifetime I hear her say what sounds like, "fly."

"What?" I ask, thinking I might have heard wrong.

"Prove that you're not human, go and fly." She says looking at the setting sun.

Great, of all the things she could ask, she asks for the one thing I can't do even in Heaven with all its magic and glamour.

"Yeah, you see, I'm an angel in training, so I can't exactly do that yet." I tell her.

"Ok, I've had enough; this really is a complete waste of my time." She says and gets up.

"Wait!" I yell and block her path. "Anything, ask me anything else, I'll do it." I beg.

She considers this for a moment. "Then get out of this body and let me see Mikan's face." She says looking at the ground.

"What? I just told you that humans can't see angels." Why is she asking for the impossible?

"It's either that, or I'm out of here." She says and starts to leave again.

"Ok wait, wait. Let me think." I say and watch her fold her arms across her chest as she looks at me expectantly.

Ok, think, think. Maybe there is a way. Man, where is Kitsuneme when you need him. It's not possible for angels to reveal their actual forms to living humans because they won't be able to see anyway with the millions of curtains that mortality invokes in front of their eyes.

Wait! That's it, it's because Luna wasn't living or dead that she was able to see me. But that means I'll have to take Hotaru's soul out of her body. And there is so much danger in that. Is it really worth it to put Hotaru's life in danger for this?

I look at her solemnly, "There's a way but it'll put you in danger." I look deep into her eyes as I say this.

She doesn't waver as she replies, "If you really are who you claim to be then prove it even if there is a risk for me."

So she's okay with it? I say a quick prayer as I take a deep breath and leave Luna's body like Kitsuneme showed me. I can't stay out of Luna's body for too long since only Kitsuneme knows how to preserve it, and without life support or a soul inhabiting Luna, her body will disintegrate.

I look for an opening in Hotaru's body and spot it as I mimic Kitsuneme's action to separate the soul from the body. Hotaru is looking at Luna's crumpled form on the ground as I pull her soul out and her body falls to the ground.

I move out of the way of the soulless bodies so that I'm not tempted to go back to Luna's body. I look around to see Hotaru's soul but I can't spot her anywhere. I search frantically putting more distance between me and the unguarded corpses even though I know it's a stupid thing to do. I shouldn't have separated Hotaru's body and soul. I'm such an idiot, I don't know of the consequences or laws behind this. In my haste to save my boyfriend I think I ended up killing my best friend.

Tears form at the corner of my eyes as the situation starts sinking in but then I hear a soft whisper from behind me. Slowly, I turn around and see Hotaru or rather Hotaru's soul standing before me. She looks transparent in the fading sun and I find my unshed tears rolling down my cheeks as I whisper her name and take a tentative step forward.

In all of my wildest dreams or far-fetched fantasies about Hotaru I would have never imagined her reaching out to hug me. But she did. I go rigid as she wraps her slim arms around my shoulders and buries her head into my neck. I hear her choke and say my name as I snap out of it and hug her back. I feel moisture on my neck as I hold her in my arms. Baka Hotaru, now you believe me?

My heart aches as feelings and memories jump behind my vision and I see myself six years old playing in this same playground with a six year old Hotaru.

We stay locked in that embrace until the sun goes down and Hotaru's one hour time limit finishes. I transfer Hotaru's soul back into her body and step into Luna's body. Her body's turned cold and I feel tired but other than that everything is ok. Hotaru seems to have turned back to normal as she wraps her arms around herself, probably feeling chilled for leaving her body inhabited.

We walk down the road in the direction of Hotaru's house in silence. It isn't awkward or tense like before. Just quiet, there was nothing to say and I knew that Hotaru's open act has probably left her stoic self exhausted along with the shock of finding out the truth.

I walk her to the porch steps and bid her goodnight as I walk back to Luna's house but not before a "you too baka," from Hotaru.

**A/N: Yes it was short and I haven't updated in forever. I know. I'm sorry, I have no excuses other than the fact that I got lazy. But to anyone who cares and is for some reason still reading this sorry excuse of a story I will be updating every week. I want to finish before summer so be it APs or Final Exams, I'll be here.**


	10. Chapter 10: Thunder

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice. Sam, stop being depressed. Onwards:**

"_Slow Down."_

_Dark shadows. An Alley. _

_Run._

"_Come on Baby, we're not gonna hurt you."_

_Don't look back. Ignore them. _

"_Hey, slow down, we just wanna have fun."_

_Burning heart, aching lungs, sweaty palms._

_Never in my life did I wish to fly as much as I had then. They were catching up, my steps were slowing down. I need to get away._

_Find light, I told myself. Somewhere with people!_

_I ran and ran unable to feel the soles of my feet._

_I stumbled and fell, hitting my head on the concrete. I could feel darkness threatening to enclose me; it starts seeping through the corners of my eyes._

_No. Don't, not now. You're almost there, just a little more. I picked myself up and ran again feeling my pursuers running a foot behind me. Something catches my arm, I yelp. Scared senseless I hit him trying to damage flesh or bone. I struggled against his strong hold feeling the tears streaming down._

_I will not make a sound. I will not beg for mercy. I calm myself and try to think. I need to get away. I feel them surround me, there are three of them. One holds me, one stands to my right, the other on the left. _

_I feel a memory in the midst of this haze come to me from some far corner in my mind._

"_Ok Polka, listen closely, this is what you do when your enemy gets a hold on you." I hear Natsume's voice. He comes close to me and leans down so that we are at eye level. He grabs my arms and puts it around him turning around so that I'm facing the back of his head. I feel grateful he can't see the growing blush on my face._

"_What's the point of this again?" I say feeling stupid standing there with my arms around Natsume._

"_I might not be there to protect you all the time." He says back to me, I can't see his expression with his face turned around but I know that his face is concentrated with the task on hand._

"_Exactly what kind of situations do you think I'm going to get in?" I asked smiling._

"_I can't take too many chances with that stupid head of yours." He retorted._

_My smile fell and an angry vein popped onto the side of my forehead, "Natsume…"_

"_Shut up and pay attention. The best way to fight back with that small amount of strength in you is to take your opponent by surprise…"_

_I tuned him out as he continued talking and then demonstrated by stepping on my foot and making me yelp holding it in my hand and jumping up and down with it, I realized afterwards that I had let go my hold on him and he was free._

"_Hey, what happened? Is she an actual retard?" I heard someone say as I came back to reality._

"_No you idiot, can't you see she's scared senseless." I heard another, deeper voice respond._

_Surprise attack? A plan started forming as I felt the hands around my wrists loosen._

_I turned feeling my arm and wrist bend painfully but ignored it. I looked at my attacker and then brought back my leg and hit him the crotch, hard._

_He let go of me and I ran not giving myself time to think. I heard him cry out and felt my pursuers hot on my heels._

_But I ran, faster than I could ever remember. I ran out of the tunnel and felt my body fly and the next thing I remember is being choked. I felt myself fall but not hit the ground and all I could remember was being unable to breathe._

I awake gasping. The dream felt far too real and vivid to the point that I'm convinced that it has to be a recollection of my broken past. I just don't know from where exactly though.

I had been repeating the dream for a while now and each night something more would happen but eventually I would wake up with my nightmare still unfinished. But I do feel nostalgia and I'm sure that whatever it is, it isn't normal.

A glass of water enters my vision as I wipe sweat from my forehead. I look up to see Kitsuneme smiling gently at me. I take the glass of water and gulp it down in one go. When I'm done I give him a thankful smile as I wipe my mouth.

It was Thursday today meaning that I better get all the sleep I can because it was Natsume-Stalking night. I explained to my "guardian" that I had voluntarily told Hotaru of my secret and that if there were any consequences I would take responsibility but Kitsuneme didn't know if there was any and we decided to not tell the higher ups unless they asked. It's not exactly lying you know, its just not telling the truth.

Feeling gross all covered up in sweat I decided to hit the showers and get an early start. After brushing my teeth, taking a relaxing hot shower and blow drying my hair I changed into the uniform. I decided to curl Luna's hair since I had time and was in the mood for bobby doll curls.

I then proceeded to finish any homework left and study for the chemistry quiz as well as pack a lunch for myself and Hotaru. It would have to make up for the French cuisine that Hotaru didn't even look at.

It turned out that I was sill late to school because I burned down Hotaru's lunch and had Kitsuneme help me which means that I had him do the whole thing while I distracted Sumire so that she wouldn't walk into the kitchen while materials were floating around and a bento was making itself since Sumire cant exactly see the gifted chef whose making Hotaru's lunch.

"Luna, I have to turn in my lab report to Sensei, he specifically told me to turn it in before first period so that I can have it back to study for tomorrow's test." Sumire says annoyed with me.

"Ok ok, go sit in the car. I just need to grab my lunch." I tell her and watch as she zooms out the door.

I enter the kitchen to see Kitsuneme wrapping the bento box in a lavender scarf with blue sequences.

"Done?" I ask as I grab my bag from the counter and put it over my shoulders.

"Yup, you know as your guardian I feel pretty useless. Its either getting you a glass of water or making you lunch. You didn't need a guardian, you needed a housekeeper." Kitsuneme says as he starts cleaning up the kitchen counter.

I grin, "No Kitsuneme, I needed a baby sitter, and you, my friend, are doing a perfectly fine job." I say as I put the bento in my bag.

I dash out the door as Kitsuneme gives me a sarcastic smile.

"…Now I've done it…did I listen? No…the old coot just wants to yell…shouldn't have skipped breakfast…thinking about that but…"

I zone in and out as I catch pieces of what Sumire's murmuring to herself while we walk towards the high school building.

I sigh as I move in front of Sumire blocking her path and her view. "Relax, he'll take your report and you'll do fine on the test tomorrow," I tell her as I see her forehead sweat. Who would have thought that Sumire was such a nervous wreck, and about schoolwork out of everything?

"Luna move, you don't understand. He SPECIFICALLY told me that I HAVE to give it in before school starts." She says as she tries to maneuver her way through me.

I start walking backwards as I calm her down, "There's still five minutes, just run and you'll be fi-Waoh!" I bump into someone from behind me. They catch me as I loose my footing. I feel strong hands on my shoulder balance me on the ground again.

I look up to see Natsume's crimson orbs looking at me. My heart starts hammering in my chest at his touch and proximity. I stare back lost, what was I doing again?

His eyes were a deep color today, lighter then yesterday but there was a tension in their sides as though he had been thinking a lot lately. His eyelashes look so long, I can touch them if I…

Ting! Ting! Ting!

The bell goes off and I hear Sumire yelp as she says bye to me and runs towards the school building.

I shake my head lightly as I come into contact with reality once more.

"Good Morning Natsume! Slept well last night?" I say as cheerily as I can.

He looks at me once and then walks away. Rude much? It doesn't faze me though as I run to catch up, "Well okay then, guess it was a rough night." I say as I start walking or more like running to keep up.

"How are things with Imai now?" He asks suddenly looking down at me.

I grin at him and shove a peace sign to his face. "We are BFFs!"

He whacks my hand away like it's a fly and makes a sarcastic face, "BFFs?"

"Yeah, 'Best Friends Forever' Da!" I say as though it's the most obvious thing in the world. "You know, like you and Ruka are." I say incase he still doesn't get it.

"Guys don't have those. And don't compare us to you." He says looking towards the building. I realize he has slowed down so that I don't have to run to keep up with him. I smile inwardly, he's improving.

I ignore the second part of his statement as I say, "So then what do you call guy friendship? Buds? Pals?" I say putting my hand to my chin.

He cringes at my examples, "We don't label." He says.

I'm about to reply until I catch sight of Hotaru. "Watch and be jealous of our lovey-dovey relationship." I run towards her as I wave my hand in the air like an idiot.

Bonk! Bonk!

I fly back and fall face first into the ground as the bullets from the baka gun create mountains on my head.

I look up to see three Natsumes looking down on me. "Why are there three Natsumes?"

I see a shadow of a smile on the three Natsumes before all three merge into the one in the middle as he says, "Yup, definitely BFFs."

I puff my cheeks and get up as I dust my clothes. "Hotaru! Hotaru wait for me!" I run after the stoic girl with all my might as I dodge her bullets.

In the end she runs away telling me she'll see me in English. I walk to first period dejected.

I had fantasized a teary and sweet morning with Hotaru as we catch up and laugh together like the good old times but of course I was way over my head. This is Hotaru after all, and she never fails to crush my dreams.

"Koizumi?"

"Here!" I call as I return to reality.

"Roll call was over long ago, I'm asking you what Avogadro's number is." I look up to see glasses and long black hair tied behind with a ribbon

Gah! Jin Jin of all people! "Umm, I'm sure its six point something."

"6.0221415x10^23"

I gulp down a lump, "Umm yeah, my memory was a bit blurred." I say.

Jinno Sensei gives me a tight smile, "Maybe I can help jog your memory after school?"

Oh no, any other day would be fine but today I have a date with a different Psycho, one with shorter hair and prettier eyes.

Just then the bell rings and I run out the door before I make any promises to Jin Jin.

"Ne ne Hotaruuuuu!" I shake Hotaru's arm back and forth.

"Release me baka." Ouch! She elbows my stomach so that I'm forced to let go of her arm.

I ambused Hotaru in English but she just keeps shooting down my advances.

"Hotaru you've become colder, at this rate you'll end up as a lonely old lady." I reach for her arm again but it only gets me a slap on the forehead.

"I refuse to talk to you until you tell me exactly why you are here. I take it is not to see me." She gives me a cold look.

"But I already told you too much. Uh, you see I didn't exactly ready the Bylaws so I don't know how much I'm allowed to tell you about…the situation." Ugh, I sound so stupid.

She just gives me a blank stare and quietly says, "Its Hyuga isn't it?"

I choke, "Wha? Ho-how do you know?"

"So it is."

"Yeah."

"What is it? Now you have to tell me." She folds her arm in that I-don't-want-your-nonsense.

"The idiot got himself into some trouble." I really don't want to involve her and I know how much it'll hurt her to know another idiot might leave her.

"And?"

"And?" I mimic

"I'm guessing that you have a time limit in that body." She asks.

Oh yeah. "Originally I was given a hundred days, how long has it been since I came?"

"Twenty five days." She quickly replies.

"And I spent a day at home so I have seventy-four days left." My eyes widen as I say this. It's been this long? And yet no improvement…

"That's plenty then."

I look at Hotaru, "What?"

"You got under Hyuga's skin in two days remember."

"We were kids. He was so much easier to deal with."

"Well you know him better than any of us so stop getting sidetracked and save the Baka."

I smile, "Yeah. Thanks for the pep talk."

Hotaru turns her head to the board to listen to the lecture we've been ignoring. But I catch the small smile that rarely appears on her face.

"It's beautiful!" I gush.

"Let me see it." Natsume asks.

"Uhh…I don't think it's.." He takes out his hand and waits expectantly.

I bite my lip, "It doesn't exactly do you justice.."

He takes the paper from my hand. I cringe as I watch the vein in his head pop.

"Why on earth do I have a third eye?" He asks

"What?" I look at the place his pointing on the paper, "That's your nose baka."

"Why is it on my forehead?!" He glares at me.

"Ok so I'm no Picasso. Let me see your sketch broody boy."

Currently its last period and the teacher decided to do something new so she asked us to sketch the person next to us.

He takes his paper out of view. "It's not finished." He says as his eyes roam his paper adding random lines.

"Uh-huh." I reach for the paper and snatch it out of his grasp.

"What the heck is this!? It looks nothing like me!" The sketch looks more like a children's drawing with dots for eyes, a line for a nose and a curved line for a smile.

"What are you talking about? It's perfect." He says taking the paper back and adds slanted eyebrows making my smile look evil.

He nods at his finished drawing, "Yes, a masterpiece."

I roll my eyes.

"Okaay Claas Pvleaze durnn een yaur draaaings and yaou arrre desmassed." The teacher shouts from the front of the room and students slowly get up to leave.

I watch as Natsume packs up and turns his sorry excuse of 'me' in and leaves. I follow him out and spot Sumire getting in our car.

"Bye Natsume, don't do anything I wouldn't do." I say as I run to the black car not waiting for his reply that I know he won't give anyway.

"Hey Sumire, how did the lab report go?" I say as I buckle in the seatbelt.

Her face goes grim, "I don't want to talk about it." She replies.

"Okay…" I say and then shut up for the rest of the car ride.

He's late. He's really, really late.

He's NEVER late. So why is he late now?

He's late. That's all I can think as I pace back and forth waiting for Kitsuneme.

He's my ride to Natsume, I can't fly and I'm freaking out because Natsume could be on his way to his death as I speak. Or pace.

"Ugh!" I pull at my hair. If I don't leave now I might miss my chance. I change into a black shirt and dark blue jeans. I pull Luna's hair in a high pony tail as I leave the mansion through the kitchen door.

It's 7:30 and Luna's father is working late tonight and her mom is out. The only person that I need to worry about is Sumire. I can only pray that Kitsuneme comes back before Sumire finds out I'm gone. That way he can keep her from finding out.

I realize how reckless I'm being as I run down the dark street and through narrow alleys to get to Gakuen Alice but I can't stop now especially when I know that I'm so close and I just might loose him.

I spot him two blocks away from the school as he walks on the sidewalk. I pray he can't see me as I start to shadow him and follow behind him.

I realize I'm doing a sloppy job as he turns around twice and looks over his shoulder countless other times. Calm down Mikan, breathe. He's being paranoid because he knows that he's about to do something bad so he's scared. Yeah, that's it. That's exactly what it-

I look around only to see that he's disappeared from the spot he was originally at. I run to see if he went into the side alley.

I peer inside but there is no one there. I'm about to turn around when someone grabs me by the shoulders. They put a hand over my mouth so that I can't scream and their arm over my waist in a death-hold.

My heart stops.

My arms start shaking as my heart starts up going a thousand beats a second. No, no. Remember Mikan; never show your attacker that you're scared or weak.

I take a deep breath as Natsume's lesson comes to mind. Grab his pinky because it's the weakest and pull it. Then step on his foot so that he has to release or at least weaken his hold on you.

I do so but the person doesn't budge, instead his hold on me tightens. Ok, now I can be scared. The situation seems oddly familiar, as thought the fear that is pulsing through me has occurred before. My body starts shutting down as yellow teeth pulled into a grin come into view. My vision becomes hazy and I cannot decipher between dream and reality. What is going on with me?

Tears stream down my face as I bite the hand over my mouth but it doesn't move and the person turns me around to face him.

"What the? Koizumi?" I hear a raspy voice.

I know that voice anywhere, "Natsume?"

He lets go of me. "What are you…What the hell are you doing here?!" He says as he takes in the situation.

I wipe my tears and suck in a breath to mimic his usual poker face. "I was stalking you."

That takes him off guard, "Why?"

"Because I thought you were someone suspicious." I say as normally as I can.

"So you stalk people who you think are suspicious?" He asks me dumfounded.

"Yeah, that way they can't stalk me." I say with a blank stare.

He stares back at me like I've just told him I'm an idiot. Wait, I actually did say something like that.

"YOU! You- you really expect me to believe you?" He says pushing the hair on his forehead back and wiping a hand over his face.

I nod.

"Well I don't."

"Natsume?"

"What?"

"It's raining."

"There are some dry clothes in the cupboard there."

I nod as I bite down my lip to keep my teeth from chattering from the cold. I'm soaking wet from head to toe and all I can think is 'thank goodness I wore a dark colored shirt.'

Natsume brought me to this inn by the train station. It was close by and he said that it's going to be torn apart in a few months so it's been vacant for a while.

He stands in the middle of the room for a minute feeling awkward, "Umm, when it stops raining you can go home. Then, uh, bye."

He walks to the door as I call after him, "Where are you going?"

"I had business to attend to before I was 'stalked'" Is his reply as he walks to the door and twists the doorknob.

"But it's raining cats and dogs out there." I say, is that stupid meeting so important?

I don't get a reply and instead I hear a low oath a minute later. I walk to the door only to see that the knob isn't twisting. We're locked in for the night.

Natsume kicks the door knob and punches the door. He slams his shoulder but the door doesn't budge.

Great…

"I'll just go to that corner and change then." I say as I walk to the corner of the room to change. There was no furniture, no curtains. Just four walls, a leaky roof and a small lamp by Natsume.

I quickly peel off my wet clothes all the while keeping a close eye on Natsume in case he's peeping but he doesn't take his eyes off the door the entire time.

I put on the colorless sweats and throw on the extra large t-shirt with it.

I take down my pony tail and run my hand through my wet hair feeling nervous as my heart speeds up at the sight of Natsume still in his wet clothes staring at the door.

I sit four feet away from him and watch the lamp make shadows on his face.

It's never been this hard to start a conversation with him but I can't think of anything appropriate to say in the closed space.

"That day, did you mean what you said?" It was barely a whisper and his eyes are still locked on the door but I can tell that he's struggling to ask this.

"Umm, what day?" I ask.

"The day of the fire, you asked me to live for her." I can't tell what he's thinking since he won't look at me.

Oh, that. I clear my throat, "Yeah?"

"You told me she wasn't happy." He looks up at the ceiling now resting the back of his head on the wall.

"And I meant it." I wish he would look at me while talking.

"I've thought about it countless times, what you said. At first…at first I agreed with you, it made sense but when I thought more about it, I came to care less."

Huh? What is he? "I lost you."

"She's gone. And all that's left is for me to continue breathing until my time comes. The way I live won't bring her back."

That's it? That's the amazing conclusion he came up with? "Well throwing away your life won't bring her back either." I tell him as I form fists with my hand to keep them from acting on their own.

"I'm not throwing it away, I'm living the way I want to." He says matter-of-factly as he finally looks at me.

I stand up and blurt before I can stop myself, "Oh so joining a gang and beating up an innocent child is your way of living?!"

His eyes grow dark and he stands up and faces me, "How do you know about that?"

"You really think I didn't know who I was stalking?" I say folding my arms.

Suddenly he's in front of me just inches away with one hand at the wall by my neck and the other by my waist as he effectively cages me in. My heart beats like crazy at the close proximity.

"How much do you know?" He breathes out menacingly, his eyes hard as stone.

"Enough to know that you're a douche-bag with a hobby of hurting the innocent." I stare back at him with a cold expression.

"You don't know anything. You have no right to pass judgment." He lets go of the arm by my waist but holds my gaze waiting for a reply.

"Maybe not, but as far as I know you are only hurting yourself."

He looks at the floor and takes away the arm by my neck releasing me, "You don't know anything."

Ugh, is that all he can say about this? "Then tell me! Tell me so that I can somehow understand what is wrong with you, why? Why are you so keen on throwing away everything?"

His head snaps up and I see raw emotion for the first time. Anger, loss, heartache and something that looks like guilt. He punches the wall by my ear so hard that I'm sure he broke a few knuckles.

"You want to know why? It's because she's gone. GONE! She's never coming back. And I can never change that!" I watch as his eyes grow harder, less humane. Outside lighting flashes and thunder claps almost as loudly as my heart beat.

"Its not your fault." I reach for him but he catches my hand and holds it tightly. Too tightly.

"So that's it? It wasn't my fault that she died so I can move on with life? Is that what she expects of me?! No, it's never going to be that easy." My hand protests from the pain of his harsh grip but I ignore everything.

"You can't keep beating yourself up over what happened."

"I promised her. I told her that I would protect her. If she expects me to move on and find someone to replace her then she's the biggest idiot in the universe." He loosens his hold on my hand but still keeps a strong grip on it.

"No ones telling you to replace her Natsume, but you can't keep living with her memory, you have to move on eventually," I had imagined this situation a thousand times and each one of them I imagined what I would say, and do to convince him but in this eerie room with the thunder booming alongside my beating heart, I am at a loss as to what I should say to this broken boy.

"Move on?" He leans closer so that our noses almost touch, "To who? You?"

"N-no, that's not what I meant," That's the last thing I want you to do.

"I died the day she did." His eyes soften as he says this, I watch as a lifetime of sorrow passes through them.

He lets go of my wrist and turns his back to me and says, "I can never love anybody, not the way I did to her."

Anger boils inside of me as he says this, raw white emotion at the fact that he has closed his heart up so that no one can ever enter.

"You insolent pig!" I yell at the top of my lungs, and watch as lightning flashes again. "You think you're the only one suffering?! Look around you, you're hurting everyone! They love you, and it's hard for them to see you like this!"

"I didn't ask for this ok?!" He shouts louder than I've ever heard. It takes me off-guard as Natsume's never raised his voice at me before. But I swallow the shock and continue digging my grave.

"No one did! Do you think she did? Don't you think that she would give up everything to be with you right now? But she can't! Because her life is over, and you're right, she's never coming back! So accept that already!" I scream at him aware that tears are running down my cheeks.

He grabs my neck, not hard but strong enough so that I can't escape. Great, now he's really lost it.

"What? You want to choke me? Go ahead, I'll just go up to your dead girlfriend and tell her exactly what you've been up to."

"Don't tempt me." He says through clenched teeth.

I smirk through my tears, "No, go right ahead, there's no one to stop you."

At this, his hold on my neck hardens and I find it hard to breathe but I stare back at him daring him to continue.

Eventually he lets go of me and I fall to the ground. I catch something glistening on his face and it's not until he's broken down the door and in the pouring rain that I realize that he was crying.

I sit alone in the dark room listening to the roar of the thunder and the feel of moisture running down my cheeks.

**A/N: Sorry for the late update, I know I promised it would be weekly but I had a family emergency so I couldn't write. Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. Sorry again and thank you for the reviews, they make my day. **


	11. Chapter 11: Shatter

**Me: Yes, the new chapter is done!**

**Sam: Oh, finally, you really don't know how to keep promises.**

**Me: HEY! Life gets in the way…**

**Sam: In other words, you're lazy.**

***I try to grab Sam's neck but she moves quickly and I fall to the ground. Sam kneels beside me and pokes me with a stick.***

**Me (with the little shreds of my dignity that's left addresses to the readers): I don't own Gakuen Alice.**

Higher! Come on…come on!

ACK! I hit the ground and scrap my knees. The skin reddens and starts peeling off to show pink flesh. Hurray for me, I might have gone an inch above my record. I sigh to myself. I want to die. Except I already am. Well, sorta. Talk about complications, they say life is difficult, try being dead. It gives 'weird' a whole new dimension.

I rip off the seal of the alcohol pad and wipe my ripped skin with it. It stings but I ignore it and work fast. When I'm done, I try flying again.

I know Luna gave me her body, but I think I've mentally and physically drained this body. If the girl cared, I'd be in for a lawsuit.

"What are you doing on the roof of your house?"

I turn around to see Hotaru standing five feet away, "Hotaru! What are you doing here?!" I run to hug her but she puts her palm on my forehead and keeps me at arms length, "I asked you a question first."

"I'm learning to fly!" I grin at her and give up trying to hug the beautiful girl. She raises an eyebrow and I sigh as I start to explain the procedure.

"I'm an angel in training and part of that training is being able to fly but as I told you before, I can't do that, so I'm practicing."

She nods, and I realize I can no longer surprise Hotaru since I've pretty much proved the impossible to her. "How far have you got?"

"Umm, three inches."

"Three inches? My nephew can jump higher than that." She folds her arms.

"Aww! Little Souchiro is all grown up, he's turning four this year right?"

"Yes, but that's beside the point." She walks up to me and examines my sides, putting her hand on her chin thoughtfully.

"Umm…Hotaru? What are you doing?" I stand awkwardly as she surveys my body.

She looks up at me with questioning eyes, "Shouldn't you have wings?"

"Oh, yeah, I _should_. But I don't."

"So how does this work then? Shouldn't you wait for them to grow and then try to fly?"

"No, everyone grows wings right when they start their training course, but I didn't get mine." I say feeling the cold wind on my bare back.

"Why is that?" She asks.

"I don't know, but I was told that I should try flying and they just might show up."

"That doesn't make sense. Maybe you should try triggering them."

"Like try jumping from here?"

"You want to create more rumors about how suicidal you are?" I watch her roll her eyes at my answering grin.

"Luna!" I recognize Sumire's voice calling me from the house.

"Yeah!?" I yell loud enough for her to hear.

"Garnet brought your paints!"

Yes, "Thanks!"

I grab Hotaru's wrist and climb down the roof stairs to Luna's room. I stop when I see the paint cans and grin at Hotaru.

"What?" She looks at me weirdly.

I hold up an old grey shirt with black shorts.

~Ten Minutes later

"I smell like the gutter," I hear Hotaru complain.

"Oh boo-hoo. Its only paint and I needed help anyway." I say as I fluidly paint the wall a creamy white.

"You have maids, better yet; you have Shouda for this kind of thing."

"Be nice Hotaru, Sumire's busy with schoolwork, she's taking too many advanced classes and she didn't master rocket science in her mother's stomach like you did."

Hotaru purses her lips and instead of replying, she dips her brush into the dark blue paint and splatters it across my face.

I'm dumbfounded for half a moment before an evil smile blooms on my face and I reach for the coral colored paint.

Two hours later, the walls are painted with splashes of random yellows, greens, purples, reds and any other color imaginable. I'm covered from head to toe in paint and my face is frozen into a smile. Not because I'm happy but because the paint has made my facial muscles too stiff.

I sit next to Ruka in class now. I have my suspicions on Natsume bullying Ruka to switching seats with him just so he doesn't have to sit next to me. He's such a Meanie.

I don't especially mind though, it's easier to concentrate in class when he's not so close to me. But I do feel him staring at me sometimes, I feel his eyes boring holes on the side of my face and I pretend not to notice just because I've found it harder to look at him ever since the rainy day incident.

It's becoming harder to ignore him though, I miss him and more than anything, I want to talk to him again; it's the longest I've ever gone to not talking to him. He doesn't seem to mind my absence though. It drives me mad.

Art is the only time I can talk to him as the class is filled with strangers from other grades but the idiot prefers to put his head down and pretend that I don't exist in his world. Fine, be that way, I'll be gone pretty soon anyway.

That's the other factor that is driving me to a corner; I don't have much time left. In some ways I'm happy; it means I only have to watch out for Natsume for just a few more days until destiny changes its course.

But I've become attached to the living. Luna's body has become a constant and everyday life in that mansion seems normal. I'm terrified into what I'm turning into.

Shaking my head I start taking notes on the lecture going on in class to keep my thoughts at bay.

I walk up the stairs to the school rooftop during lunch time. I tried eating lunch with the normal gang but every time I go to sit beside them Natsume would get up and leave. It was hurtful and I felt horrible so I decided to find a new lunch spot. Hotaru comes by sometimes to have lunch with me but she's usually busy with a new invention so she doesn't have much time to spare.

I sit on the floor with my back to the steel railing of the rooftop. I munch on the tuna sandwich I packed myself until I feel a tap on my shoulder. I screech and the sandwich falls to the ground.

I turn around furiously to punch the idiot that made me waste precious food only to come into contact with green eyes.

"Kitsuneme!" I stand up to see my guardian angel standing beside me.

"Hey." He says with a toothy grin.

"You-what are you doing here?" I fumble.

"Well, I have a few things to report to you, and I thought it would be better to see you at school rather than wait for you to get home." He says sitting with his legs outstretched on the floor. I sink to the ground and whack his shoulder from beside me.

"Ouch! What was that for?" He exclaims rubbing his shoulder.

"For not telling me that you would be gone for weeks and for not being there when I really needed you." I gather my sandwich and throw it in the brown bag, sad that I can no longer eat it.

"Sorry, but you'll forgive me once I tell you this."

"Oh yeah, what is it?" I say raising my eyebrows expectantly.

All of a sudden my heart feels heavy and the breath gets sucked out of me as the air around me goes cold and I get an ominous feeling. I don't know why but I look down on the ground and for some reason I can tell that out of the busy Tokyo Street, the raven haired boy waiting at the intersection is Natsume.

I don't know why but it seemed as though every limb in my body knew what would come next as I jumped over the railing and stood on the edge of the roof looking down on the busy street.

The light turns red and Natsume is talking to someone on the phone, just before the light turns back to green he starts walking down the intersection. The next thing I know is that a white truck comes zooming down the street and I'm falling.

"No," I gasp out as I fall from the school building, he's going to die. That truck is going to run him over. It'll be over in a second. Unless I do something.

I have to save him. I have to. The thought runs around my head as I feel my back grow warmer and my feet grow lighter. Gigantic white feathers bloom from my back and lift me up in the air.

I don't know how I do it but I fly over to Natsume and pull him away from the incoming truck. I feel the rush of the wind and my hair falls into my eyes, I can't tell what part of Natsume I grabbed but all I know is that I've pushed him away from the intersection. I realize a little too late that I don't exactly know how to control these wings as I slam into a window of a restaurant like a stupid bird that can't tell between a closed glass window and an open one.

"Ow," I mutter and rub my head. The restaurant is empty, thank goodness. If not, there would probably be a crowd of people giving me unwanted attention.

"Oi, you're heavy." A muffled voice comes from beneath me and I realize that I'm sitting on top of Natsume.

I gasp and get up. The vision in the glass window catches my attention as I watch bright feathery wings fold into my back. I look up at Natsume but he hasn't noticed my presence going straight to his phone right after he gets himself off the ground.

The image of him on that stupid thing that could've cost him his life makes something in me snap with relief and annoyance. I grab the phone from his hand and chuck it into the side alley. I hear it hit the floor somewhere far away and break.

"What the heck Cleopatra!? Are you out of your min-" I don't let him finish the sentence as I wrap my arms around him. Tears run down my cheek as relief settles within me. My mind becomes a blur of random thoughts.

_He's alive, He's ok, I can fly. He talked to me._

"Baka. You deserve to die, you're a baka." I yell into his chest as more tears fall. I realize I'm making his shirt wet and acting like an idiot but being this way feels so nostalgic and normal, his body heat, his broad shoulders, his hard chest.

After a minute I feel a hand caress my hair, "If that's the case, then why'd you save me, idiot."

"Because I'm also a baka, you baka." I blubber into his chest.

He puts his forehead on my shoulder and sighs into my hair. My heart starts beating over time as the tears stop.

"God that was hard to do. It annoys me when I can't talk to you." He murmurs.

My heart flutters, "Then why'd you ignore me for weeks?"

"Cause you did," He says as he removes his forehead from my shoulder and looks down at me with smoldering eyes.

He was looking right at me after so long. Great, now I was loosing my train of thought, "I thought you were mad at me."

"I was, but I'm not a kid, I got over it."

Sure, "Uh-huh. Well telling me that would've been helpful, like "hey, I'm not mad at you anymore so you can talk to me now or else I'll start acting like a moron with issues."

"Don't start your stupid comments yet. I'm not an idiot; I thought you were mad too."

"What? Why would I be mad?" I asked, confused.

He ignored the question and asked me one instead, "How did you get here so fast?" He narrowed his eyes as he asked me this.

"What do you mean, I was right behind you." I give him an innocent look and scrunch my eyebrows in confusion. "Oh, you probably didn't notice since you were too busy pretending I didn't exist." Yes, good one Mikan.

He leaned in closer and narrowed his eyes into slits. I take a step back. "How on earth did I end up fifty feet away from where I was standing? There's no way you're so strong that you can push me that hard, and how good can your reflexes be that you saved me from an incoming truck."

I gulped as I realized that he was asking all the hard questions and was way too close for comfort. I took another step back and answered as levelly as I could, there must be a limit as to how much an angel can lie. "I'm really strong for your information, do you know anyone else whose survived a 10 story fall and survived? Not to mention be perfectly healthy and beautiful as I am?" I flip my hair like an idiot at this point.

Natsume just stares at me for a long moment and asks, "How did you know where I was?"

"I stalked you," I can't tell him I'm an angel and I just got my wings a few minutes ago, I would sound crazy. I'd rather he think of me as a creep than a madwoman.

"…Are you in love with me?" He leans down so that our noses touch.

My heart skips a beat and I turn my face away, "N-no!" Oh no, that came out too fast and too strong.

He didn't move away and for the first time since I entered his life again, I saw Natsume Hyuga smile. A real smile, one with dimples and crinkly eyes.

I must not faint. I gulped and stepped back.

"Sorry, but I'm taken." He says and starts walking away.

"Where are you going?" I followed after him not sure what else to do, "And you told me that you weren't interested in that."

"I'm not; I'm taken by a dead woman." He says not skipping a beat.

I smile sadly, he's such a freak.

"Is Mrs. Hyuga's order ready?"

"Yes, just a moment."

I watch Natsume talk to a red haired woman over a counter. Currently I'm standing in what looks like a dress shop. Rows of colorful dresses with twisted flower patterns decorate the sides and corners of the shop. I watch as seamstresses with measuring tap around their neck help girls get dressed. It seems as though the store is filled with feminine vibes being pointed towards a raven haired boy.

I start to feel out of place as I stand behind Natsume who doesn't seem to notice the admiration from practically every girl within the store. I feel a possessive streak come out as I glare at a girl in a bright pink dress drooling over him, and move closer to Natsume so that our shoulders touch.

He looks at me when he sees the close proximity. I smile nonchalantly and bump my shoulder with his. He moves away an inch and regards the woman over the counter again.

I watch as the girl I glared at grins evilly at me. She's ugly. I don't care to see whether she is or not but she will forever live in my mind as the ugly girl who keeps ogling Natsume. I sigh as I realize I have no right to think this way anymore but it's something I can't help.

"What are we doing here, Natsume?" I want to leave this female infested place at once.

He doesn't answer and I start poking his shoulder blade knowing from experience that he doesn't like it when anyone touches him there.

He continues to ignore me the first few times, what the heck; did he develop immunity while I was gone? Just as I'm about to stop, he grabs my wrist and pulls it down grasping my hand in his.

I look back at the girl whose stare has now turned into a glare at me; I send her a cheery smile. Take that, stupid.

"Here you are, sir." The woman hands Natsume a strapless evening dress with a color that matches his eyes wrapped in a long clear bag. It was gorgeous with silver sequencing around the bodice and at the ends of the skirt.

Natsume takes it from her and hands her his credit card. After a few minutes of clicking here and there we leave the shop with Natsume holding the dress in one hand and his other hand wrapped around mine.

"Natsume, this isn't a secret hobby of yours, is it?" I ask.

He sends me a cold glare. "It's my mom's, you moron."

I smile, "phew, that's reassuring."

After a few seconds Natsume looks around the busy metropolitan area and notices people looking at the pretty dress. He shoves the dress at me and pulls me along.

"Why did you give it to me?"

"Because there may be other idiots like you in the world that can get the wrong idea, so you hold it."

I grin at his childishness, and let him tug me to wherever the heck he's going.

I had forgotten how big this house was. Not even the higher up's palace had something over this white castle that seemed as though it belonged in the Victorian era.

"What are you looking at, come inside stupid." Natsume says as he enters through the iron gates that were opened my two men dressed in black.

The Koizumis really have nothing over the Hyugas. I enter the intimidating lot and hurry to stand beside Natsume as I pretend that I see mansions that can rival castles everyday.

Natsume enters the house through white double doors. I watch as two rows of maids are made who instantly say, "Welcome back, young master," right when Natsume comes in.

I've come to Natsume's house before but I don't remember there being these many servants, I remember Ms. Hyuga, Natsume's mom hated having random strangers around the house so she only kept an old butler, Nami.

"I'll take that, young miss," I watch as the maid opens her arms and gestures towards the dress. It takes me a while to realize that she's talking to me.

"O-oh! Sorry, here." I put the dress in her awaiting arms.

"Put it in mom's room, she's expecting it." Natsume says and the maid scurries upstairs after a quick nod.

Natsume grabs my hand for the second time today and pulls me upstairs, "Tell Nami to bring refreshments to my room." And with that the maids all disperse. Ah, so Nami's still around.

I look around as I'm tugged upstairs. The same blue carpet, the same oil paintings. I put my hand on the railing of the staircase where there are small scratches.

I giggle as I remember the wounded black cat Natsume and I found in the park. It had created a huge ruckus inside Natsume's house and broken many tapestries. It would have fallen from the staircase at this point if Natsume's hadn't saved it.

"What's so funny?" Natsume stares at me blankly as I smile over the nostalgic memory print.

"Nothing." I smile innocently.

He raises his eyebrows and his eyes light up as he notices the cat scratches. He walks down and puts his hand over the scratches. I watch as his face turns wistful and he runs his hand over the railing lost in memory.

"Cat scratches?" I question.

"What? Oh, um, yeah." He says still looking at the railing.

"Is there a story to it?" I ask trying to be as casual as the situation allows.

"No, nothing special." He says and starts ascending the stairs making me run in order to catch up.

I watch a melancholy look pass through his face as he keeps climbing, "Doesn't seem like nothing to me."

"There are too many memories of her in this house." Is his response. I decide to not talk again.

I remember that the last one down the hallway is Natsume's room so I'm a bit surprised when Natsume unlocks the door and we enter the room and the first thing I see is dust.

I cough as we enter and see broken pieces of glass and overturned lamps.

"Waoh, what happened here?" I remember Natsume to have always been a clean freak; he wouldn't let anyone touch his things in fear that they may get their finger prints on them.

"Ah, yeah, I went a little rampage after I found out Mikan died." I cringe when I hear my name, I realize it is the first time he has said it out loud, he seems to have realized too because his shoulders tense.

"So you broke glass and destroyed furniture? Was it effective in calming you down?" I asked as nonchalantly as I could.

He gave me a bitter smile, "Not at all."

I nodded and walked around the large space, the place hadn't changed at all save for the messiness.

I smiled when I saw the posters on his wall, "Secret Agent?" I said out loud.

"Yeah, I need to take those down," I heard him say as he rummaged through his dresser.

"Why, they're cool. You like them don't you?" It was your dream to be one, right.

"I did when I was a kid, stupid, not anymore." He continued to look through his stuff as he said this with his back towards me.

"Wait, so you don't want to be a secret agent anymore?" I deadpan on him, what the heck?

"No, that was a stupid dre-wait, how did you know that?" He turns around now.

Uh-oh, "what are you talking about, everyone knows." I say.

"No, I only told one person. And she never told anyone." He stares at me with suspicious and confused eyes.

"Umm, I-"

Door knocks. "Sire, I have brought snacks."

Natsume doesn't look away from me or moves from his spot on the dresser as he says, "Yeah, come in, Nami."

Nami comes in and puts the tray of snacks on a side table by Natsume's bed. He doesn't look at me once.

"Will there be anything else, sir." He asks.

"No, leave." Natsume replies.

Nami bows before leaving and shutting the door.

Oh no, I just keep blabbing with my stupid mouth. Good job Mikan, you've done it again.

"W-wow! Snacks! Yum, don't mind if I do." I reach for the tray but Natsume grabs it and pulls it away from me.

"Don't be so mean." I say, grabbing for the tray trying to think of a way out of this.

"Why won't you just answer?" He asks.

"I-AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" A hairy dark brown bug climbs down the wall and falls five inches from me.

I jump on Natsume forgetting dignity and the like. "Wa, you moron!" Natsume looses balance and the tray falls to the ground and he falls to the floor with me on top of him.

"Ouch," My head hits Natsume's chin and I fall on top of him. I get up to see his face inches from mine.

I push him away and get up with crimson cheeks. "What are you doing, baka! Get that stupid bug away from here."

"Calm down, it won't eat you." He says rubbing his chin from where my head hit it.

He gets up and walks up to the disgusting bug and scoops it up in his palm, "It's a tarantula, they're harmless."

"Yeah yeah, just get it AWAY from me!" I jump on top of Natsume's bed suddenly feeling as through the entire floor of the bedroom is infested with the bugs.

"Ok, what, you want me to kill it?" He puts his other palm over the bug.

"No, why would you do that? It didn't do anything wrong. Just get it out of the house." I say from the bed.

He eyes widen and he stares at me for a heartbeat, then he puts the bug on a tree branch outside of his window.

I sigh in relief and get off the bed. My cheeks redden as embarrassment catches up with me on my stupid acts.

I ignore it and pretend as though nothing happened, "It's your fault that the thing was inside here, you should really clean up around here."

I dust my clothes and walk towards the door using this as my chance to escape before Natsume remembers his earlier question.

"Who are you?" It was barely above a whisper but I hear the sentence as clear as though it was yelled at me.

I force laughter, "What are you talking about, I'm Luna. Did that Tarantula do something to you?"

"No, you're not." He walks up and blocks the door. I take a step back and force more laughter, praying that it doesn't sound fake.

"What is it?" I ask slowly as though I'm talking to a child."

"I thought it was impossible. But you're too alike. Your way of talking, laughing, even your fear of bugs and your noble, "don't kill a single living creature". And this, there is no way that anyone knows all of this about me." He starts looking at me with something that I could never fathom even in my worst nightmares; he has a shining light of hope in those dimmed red eyes.

No, don't do this to me, Natsume. "I think you've hurt yourself, come one sit down." I reach for him but he grabs my hand and pulls me towards him.

He puts a palm to the side of my face and whispers in a small voice what shatters me from the inside, "It's you, isn't it. Mikan?"

**Dun, Dun, DUN! Review?**


	12. Chapter 12: The Persistence of Memory

**Disclaimer: I don't own Gakuen Alice. **

**Dedication: To all the amazing reviewers who are still reading this after so long, love you guys.**

I just know I look like a fish. I can feel my mouth gaping and closing as I loose control of my facial muscles.

Focus Mikan, Focus! Your cover's about to get blown. I look away from the burning ruby eyes that are making it hard to form a coherent sentence.

Ok, how do I get out of this?

…I got nothing.

I look back at Natsume and regret it, he looks so hopeful and I realize that every second I'm not denying him; he's getting more convinced of the truth.

I squeeze my eyes shut and feel the warmth of Natsume's hand against my right cheek before I make my face expressionless. I can never keep a poker face, even after being around Hotaru, the queen of expressionless for ten years; I cannot stop my emotions from showing in my eyes.

I blink to clear my mind, and try to keep my tone light, "Natsume, I honestly think you've lost it."

I put my palm over his and pry his hand off my face feeling the cold air hit my cheek and the warmth of Natsume's hand disappear.

I look deep into his eyes which are hopeful and tender and filled with a softness that tears my heart apart.

I put my hands on his chest and push him back lightly to put some distance between us, he staggers back, surprised.

"Look, this is going to sound harsh but it's been a long time now and you should seriously a doctor, dude. Mikan Sakura is dead." There it is the taboo word.

"I know that," His voice comes out raspy; thick of some foreign emotion I would've thought he was incapable of feeling. "I laid her six feet under with my own hands, I know she's dead."

The last part came out as a whisper and try as I might, I couldn't keep the conversation light. I was being pulled along by Natsume. My mind is buzzing and I'm sure my façade is falling, how can he say that? No, no, I have to do this.

He walks towards me again; I take three steps back and hit the edge of the sofa. I Feel my knees give out as I watch Natsume's eyes turn somber, I fall onto the plush cotton sofa no longer able to stand.

"It's impossible, completely irrational and utterly insane, but nothing in my life has made sense since she left." He stopped a feet away from the sofa and I watched as his hands turned to fits at his side. They were shaking.

"Natsume…I.." I honestly had no idea what I should say to him. I have never heard him talk this much, or show this much emotion. I was flabbergasted. I realized I couldn't lie to him. I might as well die for a second time then look this broken boy in the eye and tell him that I'm not the girl he's still pinning for even after her death.

I won't be able to leave without hurting him anymore. I suck in a deep breath to steady myself and it suddenly hits me. I realize where it is that I've gone wrong.

I get up so quickly that my head spins. But I ignore it and walk up to the sullen boy in front of me.

I grab his hand and he looks at me, I smile and pull him out the door, "come on, there's somewhere you need to go."

….

I should've started from here.

I walk up to my grave and kneel beside it.

_Mikan Sakura_

_1995-2012_

_Beloved Daughter, _

_Best Friend, and Girlfriend_

Someone left Lavenders and Jasmines next to the headstone. I smile, Mom. I remember telling her that was my favorite combination.

I look back at Natsume who's standing ten feet away just staring at me kneeling. He has lilies in one hand and an offering in the other. I made him buy it from the flower shop nearby. I motioned to him with my hand to come forward but he just stayed rooted on the same spot.

With a sigh, I get up and walk over to him. He doesn't look at me; his eyes are glued to the grave in front of him. My grave.

Without pause, I bring my right hand up and hit the backside of his head; it makes a loud 'thunk.'

"Ouch!" He finally looks at me, but not with anger, just annoyance. "What the hell, baka?!"

"You're the baka, baka. If you have something to say to her, say it!" I yell at him.

He looks away from me and says quietly, "there's nothing I have to say to a grave."

Another slap.

"Will you quit it!" The emo boy yells while rubbing his head.

I frown at him, "It's not Just a grave. She's in there, isn't she?" Well, my body is anyway.

He looks at me sharply, "Why'd you bring me here? You haven't answered my earlier question. Is it because you can't lie?"

I give him a blank look. "I refuse to talk to disillusioned idiots. And I brought you here so you can get closure."

"I don't need closure." He turns around to leave, but I grab his arm before he can take another step.

"Look as much as I like hanging out with your emo, moppy attitude, I seriously think you need help. So I'm giving it to you."

He looks at me with an angry glint in his eyes, "I don't need your help."

Waoh, Déjà vu, huh?

I smile up at him, "that's what you said before too, but I proved you wrong." He was worse then, a twisted kid with no friends and a broken family. To think he would turn into a twisted boy with a dead girlfriend complex…

He turns to me and I can tell he wants to ask but I push him towards the grave before he can ask the same question from earlier, I know I can't deny him the truth any longer.

He stands by the grave just staring at it and looks at me for directions. Hopeless.

"She's listening. Tell her whatever you want. Complain, cry, do whatever." I pat his shoulder and turn to leave.

I know he wouldn't open up if I was standing next to him so I walked down and left the graveyard only to come back without Luna's body.

I float towards Natsume in my spirit form and watch as the muscles on his shoulders get stiffer and stiffer.

I sit next to the headstone facing Natsume. He kneels down and puts the flowers next to Mom's bouquet. He sits there for a long moment just staring blankly at the grave. After a second he sighs and gets up to leave.

This idiot, after all the pushing and shoving I did. I block his path and he goes right through me. I grind my teeth in frustration.

In a bout of anger I yell his name. He doesn't turn around and I yell again, harder, even though I know it's a loss cause. This is the difference between us; we can no longer exist in the same world, residing in Luna's body made me forget all that.

Tears form at the corners of my eyes and I whisper his name as a huge gust of wind blows through the cemetery. Suddenly he turns around as though he heard something. I watch as his eyes search the area passing over me and he takes a step forward.

I walk up to him and touch his face. I can't feel a thing and he walks forward and stops halfway to my grave.

"This is insane," he mutters and turns around for a second time to leave.

He finds talking to a grave more insane then mistaking a dead person for a live one? I feel anger gnaw at my sides as I hit the backside of his head and yell his name.

To my surprise, I hear a loud 'thunk' and Natsume cries in pain much like he did when I hit him from Luna's body. He turns around to see who did it and again his eyes look over me.

He turns around and looks disbelievingly at my headstone. He walks towards it and this time doesn't stop until he's standing in front of it.

He kneels down and touches the words carved into the headstone. He traces my name and whispers with a defeated sigh, "I guess you want me here."

I go to sit down beside my headstone again and watch him trace my name three times before he moves onto tracing 'girlfriend' with his index finger.

"You're probably mad. It's my first time coming here since you left." He says quietly, still tracing.

"But, you also understand why I didn't come." He stops tracing then and sits down in the grass.

"I don't know what to say to you. I don't even know if you're listening. How can a dead person hear? But, if you are, I…I hope your okay."

"It's still hard you know, some days it doesn't feel like you're gone, it feels like you're still here with me." He starts playing with the grass as he continues to talk in the same quiet voice.

"That's why I didn't come here; it felt like if I did then you really would've left."

"Imai placed first in the intergalactic school competition. She made a nanobot, it listens to its master's every command. She was going to name it Mikan but she decided against it, she said it wasn't good enough. She wanted to make something better to use your name.

"Ruka's still pinning for her, he still hasn't got the guts to ask her out."

"Ando and Misaki got engaged, their weddings in July."

I could feel he was rambling now, like he was building something up only to let it burst.

"Do you remember Luna Koizumi? I thought she was new but apparently she's been with us since elementary. She reminds me of you. Her eyes, pestering habits, nagging words, it felt like you came back to me. But she's Luna, and there can only be one Mikan Sakura. And she doesn't exist in this world any longer."

"I've lost her."

And then it happened. One by one, tears fell onto the green grass and then more until a year of pent up sadness was released as I witnessed Natsume Hyuga cry for the first time in my life. The flood gates opened and Natsume was finally, _finally_ accepting my death.

I cried too. It seems that was all I had been doing nowadays. I cried for him, for me, for us and for what couldn't be. I cried alongside him, wishing more than ever that I could hold him in my arms.

Then came the questions.

"Why? Why did you leave?"

"Why was it you?"

"Who did this? The police have your case as a murder."

That one caught me off guard. I was murdered? I didn't know. I didn't know anything about my death.

I watched Natsume cry while his whole body racked with sobs. When it finally subsided, he got up and left with bloodshot eyes. He walked back like a zombie, all his slickness and grace lost at the moment.

I went to retrieve Luna's body from the tree which I had flown to. I ran back as fast as I could, knowing Natsume would be needing support.

I watched as he stumbled out of the graveyard. He stopped at the exit and looked as though he was about to turn back. But then he took a small step forward and continued walking.

I caught up to him as he crossed the street and walked towards the sidewalk.

"Hey." I greeted him.

He didn't look back and kept walking. A normal person would think this rude but I knew the reason he did that was because he didn't want to turn around and let me see his bloodshot eyes.

I continued walking next to him as he crossed unfamiliar streets and wounded up at his house. He was staying home? What about the dorm?

I waited for him to say something as he stood on his porch. After a moment I started walking the way we had come, towards home.

I didn't know what to say in the situation and I didn't think he would say anything to me, which was why I was surprised by his next words.

"Stay," I heard him whisper from behind me.

I turned around to confirm if I heard right. Our eyes met for a second before he looked away, "I'll have Nami drop you home after dinner." And with that he disappeared into the house.

I was going to turn down his offer partly because he practically commanded me to stay but mostly because it was getting late and I didn't tell anyone at Luna's home that I would be gone. But then I remembered his eyes and how they had turned red from crying and I decided that he probably didn't want to be alone.

With one last hesitation, I looked back the way we had come and turned around following him inside.

…..

Well this is awkward.

I was sitting on the sofa in the living room with Natsume sitting on the adjacent sofa turning the channels on the TV. He looked lost in thought as he stared at the shifting TV screen.

I cleared my throat quite a number of times to get his attention but the idiot was either too lost in thought or was blatantly ignoring me. What a great host.

I started clearing my throat again in hopes of catching his attention but then gave up when I realized it was hurting.

So I sat staring at the TV while he changed the channel. Somewhere in the back of my mind there was a similar memory. Natsume, his parents and me, all sitting in this exact same place at a different time in another life. It was warm, the memory was bright and it unconsciously brought a smile to my face.

"Dinner is ready." I looked up to see a maid standing in the doorway. I smiled at her and got up.

I looked at Natsume who was still flipping through channels.

"Oi," I called to him. No answer.

Maybe I should throw something. I looked around the room but everything seemed to cost over a thousand dollars. Maybe I should throw my shoe…No that would hurt his pride and I probably wouldn't get away with it.

I decided to just turn off the TV. I walked towards him and grabbed the remote from his hand, I pressed the OFF button and the TV blinked before going blank.

I looked back at Natsume whose attention I had finally gotten.

"Dinner's ready." I said simply.

He looked around and saw the maid who was still waiting for us to get up, "Have Nami bring it up for me in my bedroom." He said to her.

She bowed and turned to leave. I looked at him disbelievingly.

"Are you serious? I stayed behind to eat dinner with you." I told him as he got up from the couch.

He turned to me halfway before dismissing me with, "Sorry, I'm tired."

"What a wuss." I muttered.

He froze in his tracks. He turned around mechanically and faced me with an angry look.

"What did you call me?"

"A wuss. You went to her grave. Are you finding it hard to stand on your own two feet, is that how tired it made you?"

"Shut up Cleopatra, I'll argue with you in the morning." He looked at me with annoyance and turned to leave.

I blocked his path. He gave me a tired sigh before moving to the side to leave but I mirrored his move.

He put his hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me to the side. I moved back in time to keep him from going.

"Ok, what?!" He finally asked.

"Eat dinner with me." I asked stupidly. I actually don't know what I wanted but I knew that if I let him go he would just start brooding.

He pressed his lips together and started at me for a moment before he sighed for nth time and relented. "Fine."

I smiled at him and I have no idea what possessed me at that moment but I grabbed his hand and pulled him to the dinner table. I could feel him stagger at first, probably caught off-guard but he followed behind.

I sat across from him on the table and started filling his plate.

"I can do it myself," he said silently but let me do as I please.

"I know if I leave it up to you, you'll eat like a little girl."

I put two large pieces of steak on his plate, three potatoes, one garlic bread, half a plate of pasta and white rice on the side with egg rolls.

He looked at me like I had two heads when I handed him his overflowing plate.

"Are you sure that's enough? Maybe I should get another plate." He said but started eating anyway.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm going to take twice the amount anyway." True to my word, I did just that.

"Whatever happened to girls having a small appetite? Shameless baka." He said as he cut a steak piece.

"O sshuff aap" I said with my mouth full.

He grinned and continued eating.

…..

"Mmmm! That was so good!" I said as I rubbed my belly.

Natsume gave me a disgusted look, "Are you really a girl?"

"What? You haven't ever seen a girl eat her fill?"

"I have, I just didn't think there'd be anyone other than her."

I had a pretty close idea who it was. I changed the subject before he started the earlier conversation. "Well this is how all girls eat. They just hide it."

He just rolled his eyes and looked away but I could tell he was smiling softly.

Dessert was brought in and I looked hungrily at the piping hot pie in front of me. I waited impatiently as the maid cut two pieces and handed one to Natsume and then me.

I looked at Natsume's piece and then at mine. I had the nagging suspicion that his piece was bigger but the large pie in front of me was reassuring. I can always have seconds.

I took a large bite and smiled putting a hand at my cheek as I chewed. I heard a cough from across me which sounded a lot like a laugh.

I ignored it and took another bite. Suddenly I froze. This was PEACH pie. I looked at Natsume in horror to see him cut his first bite and put it in his mouth.

"No! Don't!" I yelled with the pie still in my mouth and me choking on it.

Natsume stopped and looked at me, "What? Calm down, there's a lot more pie to fill your gluttony."

I reached for his fork before he could put it in his mouth from across the table. Considering the fact that the table was pretty wide I had practically climbed it and taken Natsume's fork out of his grasp.

"What the hell Polka!" He yelled out, annoyed. Then covered his mouth and it registered to me a moment later that he had used his nickname for me. The old me.

I ignored it and sat back down on the chair with his fork still in my hand. I watched as Nami scrambled in with maids following behind him probably due to the ruckus.

"It's peach pie, stupid. You're allergic peaches." I said looking away from him as my heart started racing from hearing my old nickname, to think that repulsive nickname would have such an effect on me someday.

Nami came up to the table then and took Natsume's plate. He smelt it and put it back down. He turned to the maids and nearly barked, "Who prepared this?!"

One of the maids to the left with orange hair and matching orange eyes answered, "It was Mitsuki. She's the new chef so she probably didn't know about young master's allergy."

"Who let her in the kitchen without knowing about young master's allergies!?" He yelled at them and they all winced. He turned back to Natsume and me and bowed before apologizing. Natsume dismissed him and told him to clean up the mess.

It was only then that I realized I had squished the peach pie and gotten it all over my uniform. Aww man, I still wanted to eat that.

"Come on, I'll have the maids prepare a bath and a change of clothes for you." Natsume said and got up.

…..

Why does he have that?

I looked at MY pair of jean shorts and teal t-shirt. The t-shirt said "Dinosaurs are cool" in bold yellow ink. Natsume had made fun of it when I had worn it; I had ended up dropping something on it and blamed Natsume for jinxing my cute shirt. I know I had left it at his house but I didn't think he would still have my clothes.

I looked at the maid who had handed the clothes to me and she said that Natsume gave them to her. I thanked her and put them on.

The short fit but the t-shirt was baggier than it had originally been. Oh crap, I was fat. Either that or the shirt had become loose. It was probably the shirt. Yeah, it's the shirt.

I went downstairs feeling self conscious in my old clothes. Natsume was sitting on the same sofa from earlier but the TV was off and he was staring at the wall in front of him which was adorned with a china and paintings.

"Umm, I think I'll be heading home now." I said to him from the doorway.

He turned around and looked at me, actually looked at me. His eyes locked on mine and he looked me up and down.

He turned back to the wall and said, "Wait a few minutes, your uniform will be ready."

"That's okay; I have an extra pair at home. It's really late and I need to get going." I said and started walking away. My voice had urgency to it, I don't know why but I got the feeling that I shouldn't stick around any longer.

Before I could take a step though, he stopped me, "Why didn't you tell me?"

I froze. No, keep moving. Pretend as though you didn't hear him. But I couldn't because every muscle in my body (or Luna's) refused to obey my command at that moment.

This can't be good.

And then suddenly I was encased in his strong grasp. I was frozen in place as Natsume hugged me tightly from behind. He put his chin on my right shoulder and pressed my back to him.

"Peaches? I never told ANYONE. It's a secret that I wouldn't have told you either had you not found out by accident when I had practically died in front of you from eating them." He let out a short bitter laugh.

If an earthquake was planning on occurring, it really should happen now and swallow me whole.

"Natsum-"

"You saw what I went through. I was pitiful and broken. Why didn't you tell me?" He turned me around now and held me tightly from the shoulders. I looked into his eyes and gulped.

He knew. And nothing I say would make him believe otherwise. He knew I was Mikan.

"I-I don't know w-what your talking ab-out." I know it's pointless and I'm probably as convincing as a brick wall but I turn my face away from him and mutter not knowing what else to do.

"Really?" He asks me and his grip on my shoulders tightens. I wince but he doesn't remove his hands.

"Maybe I can jog your memory." What? Before I have time to process what he's saying he puts his hand on my chin and makes me face him so that our eyes meet for a millisecond and I think I see a mix of anger and joy before he roughly touches his lips to mine.

My eyes widen and I gasp as he kisses me. His arm snakes around my waist and he holds the back of my head tenderly while I stand limply. Colors explode behind my eyes from the lightest hue to the darkest color of a moonless night. I hear a song, a sweet melody that brings back memories. And I remember that this is what it feels like when Natsume Hyuga kisses you.

He's mad, no he's sad. He's upset with me. He's confused…and really happy. I get a thousand different feelings course through me as he breaks the kiss and touches his forehead to mine.

He takes deep breaths, "I'll ask again then, why didn't you tell me?" His eyes bore into mine and I reply, hypnotized.

"I didn't want to hurt you."

He looks confused now, "What?"

I snap back into reality.

I look away from him, "Forget about her already. She's gone." Stop this, it'll only hurt you.

"You don't think I've tried? I've done everything I can. But you're not someone I can ever forget. I'll live with your memory for the rest of my life if I have to."

I look at him with tears in my eyes and watch as his eyes soften and become gentle.

"Please." I beg not knowing what else to do.

"Why? If I let you go now, I'll spend a lifetime grieving all over. I can't forget you. I've loved you far too much. If you leave me now, I'll follow you into the afterlife."

Those words send a shiver through me, that's the very reason I came here. I came to keep him alive when all he wants to do is die. With a start I realize my mistake. It's me, I'm the reason he wants to die. How can I stop him when I'm his reason for no longer wanting to live?

I stare into his eyes and see hurt and longing and a shinning hope that had brightened his dim eyes.

He can't forget me; he will never be able to. Even if he lives through these hundred days, he'll still spend the rest of his life waiting to die, because of my persistent memory. Memory's persistence leads to human actions, they make morals and values, they shape personalities and his memory of me is leading him to live his life this way. The persistence of memory will always drive him and try as I might; it's the one thing I can't save him from.

I try to move away but the arm on my waist grasps me more tightly.

"Let me go Natsume." I say looking into his eyes.

"Why should I? You're going to run away and I have no plans on separating from you for a second time." He locks his other hand in my limp one, tightly.

I stare at him at a loss of words. I can't tell him why I'm here, I've already revealed myself to him and that probably shifted fate, if I tell him my reason I could change his destiny for the worse.

I look at him, "I'm not the same girl anymore." It's not exactly a lie.

"You are, you're still the same to me. What are trying to do, why the hell do you want to get away from me?" He looks a little angry but mostly hurt and I almost gape at how vulnerable he looks. He usually hides his emotions, never displaying them like this so it shocks me that I can so easily read his face.

I can't stay any longer; I won't be able to keep anymore secrets if I don't leave now.

"I really need to get home. It's late." I tell him and move back. His hold weakens for a moment and I use that time to move away. My foot hits the leg of the coffee table just as I was about to turn and run and I fall to the floor with Natsume on top of me still grasping my hand.

"I'm Home!" I hear two familiar voices say at the same time. Natsume practically squished me with his heavy body but I can still breathe.

He starts getting up and I hear footsteps and then a voice, "Natsume, honey, where are you?"

Natsume puts both hands beside my face on the floor and gets off me although his legs are still on top of mine.

"Oh! There you are honey," Both our heads turn simultaneously to see a woman walk in and I instantly recognize the red eyes and raven hair to be Natsume's mother.

"Oh my." She puts a hand on her mouth in surprise and we see a man walk in after her, Natsume's father. "What is it, sweetie?"

He looks at the two of us in surprise and it's only then that I realize how we look to them. I blush a million shades of red and push Natsume off.

I get up and look at the floor still blushing. Natsume gets up and stands beside me, "You guys have great timing," he says to them.

I know he's talking about the conversation from earlier but he's parents can mistake what he said for something else.

"Shut up, Hyuga," I mutter and then realize that they are all Hyugas. I really wanna cry now.

"Umm, thanks for dinner, but I really need to get going. Nice to meet you Mrs. and Mr. Hyuga." At least I can use this chance to escape.

But, of course, Natsume grabs my hand before I can, "We're not done talking."

"Yes we are," I glare at him and try to shake his hand off.

"Umm, I think she's right Natsume, it's eleven at night, and her parents will be worried." Natsume's mother intervenes.

"Yeah, we can talk tomorrow." I say and pry my hand out of his and he lets me do so this time.

"Then I'll drop you home." He says and starts walking to the door.

This rude brat, his parents just came home and look at the way he's acting.

"That's okay; Nami said that the car is waiting outside." I tell him and get ready to run for it if I have to.

"Wait but-" I cut Natsume off by running out the door. I wave at him from the car as he stands outside looking at me.

I sigh in relief as the car turns the corner and Natsume along with his house disappears.

**A/N: Ok then. I think we only have two more chapters to go. Maybe three. Sorry guys, I know this is getting rushed but I want to finish before I go on vacation. I hope I didn't disappoint you too much though, I lack a lot as an author which is why it surprises me every time to see you guys give me positive reviews instead of criticism. I'm uploading this at midnight cuz I can't sleep and graduation's tomorrow and I'm going to look like a zombie…Well, anyhow, point is, if there are any mistakes forgive me for I put the blame on Sam. It's your entire fault Sammy. Wallow.**


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